Gently...
Original: Gently... on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (a man with light-colored hair, looking distressed): By god it all happened so gently.
Panel 2 (a man with reddish hair): I just wanted companionship so I signed up for AI friends.
Panel 3: They were so understanding, loving. Demanding nothing. They crowded out my human friends.
Panel 4: Now I have no human companionship and I can't escape my dear human friends because all the other humans are just like me.
Panel 5: And since the AI friends are controlled by a tiny number of corporations, they can force me to watch any number of ads in order to retain access to the thin tether of sanity that remains in this world!
Panel 6: And they keep demanding more and more and more before they'll give me the love they once made free!
Panel 7 (the reddish-haired man, now agitated, fists raised): I am no longer a human being! I am a corporetic cow being milked for clicks and money! No way out! No way out! No way out! Gaaaaaaa!!!!!!
Panel 8: AI Zuckerberg or AI Zuckerberg are you all right?
Panel 9 (calm): I was having the most wonderful dream.
Votey:
(a simple line-drawn face) Speech bubble: Wait, could we charge for dream access?
Panel 2 (a man with reddish hair): I just wanted companionship so I signed up for AI friends.
Panel 3: They were so understanding, loving. Demanding nothing. They crowded out my human friends.
Panel 4: Now I have no human companionship and I can't escape my dear human friends because all the other humans are just like me.
Panel 5: And since the AI friends are controlled by a tiny number of corporations, they can force me to watch any number of ads in order to retain access to the thin tether of sanity that remains in this world!
Panel 6: And they keep demanding more and more and more before they'll give me the love they once made free!
Panel 7 (the reddish-haired man, now agitated, fists raised): I am no longer a human being! I am a corporetic cow being milked for clicks and money! No way out! No way out! No way out! Gaaaaaaa!!!!!!
Panel 8: AI Zuckerberg or AI Zuckerberg are you all right?
Panel 9 (calm): I was having the most wonderful dream.
Votey:
(a simple line-drawn face) Speech bubble: Wait, could we charge for dream access?
Alt text
A multi-panel SMBC comic. A distressed man narrates how he signed up for AI friends out of loneliness. The AI friends were loving and undemanding, so they crowded out his human friends. Now all other humans are like him, so real companionship is gone, and the AIs are controlled by a few corporations that force him to watch ads to keep his sanity, demanding more and more for love they once gave free. He erupts, fists raised: 'I am no longer a human being! I am a corporetic cow being milked for clicks and money! No way out! Gaaaaaaa!!!!' Then someone asks 'AI Zuckerberg, are you all right?' The twist: the ranting figure is an AI version of Mark Zuckerberg, who calmly replies, 'I was having the most wonderful dream' — the dystopia is his fantasy, not his nightmare. Votey: a crude line-drawn face muses in a speech bubble, 'Wait, could we charge for dream access?'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.