Neuron
Original: Neuron on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman (praying, hands clasped): God, do cats go to heaven?
Panel 2:
God (a glowing circle): No.
Panel 3:
God: Humans have the minimum level of cortical neurons required for entry into heaven. Humans have roughly 70 times more than a typical housecat.
Panel 4:
Woman: What if I used brain-computer interfaces to daisy-chain 70 housecats together?
Panel 5:
God (hesitating): Well, that's... that's just...
Panel 6:
Caption: Later, in heaven...
God: This is why I hate science.
(A massive brain made of many cats wired/clustered together has entered heaven, floating in the clouds beside God's glowing form.)
Votey:
God (off-panel, large speech bubble): Apologize for conquering Earth and ruling with an iron fist until you were executed, mega-cat-brain!
Mega-cat-brain (small reply): Never!
Woman (praying, hands clasped): God, do cats go to heaven?
Panel 2:
God (a glowing circle): No.
Panel 3:
God: Humans have the minimum level of cortical neurons required for entry into heaven. Humans have roughly 70 times more than a typical housecat.
Panel 4:
Woman: What if I used brain-computer interfaces to daisy-chain 70 housecats together?
Panel 5:
God (hesitating): Well, that's... that's just...
Panel 6:
Caption: Later, in heaven...
God: This is why I hate science.
(A massive brain made of many cats wired/clustered together has entered heaven, floating in the clouds beside God's glowing form.)
Votey:
God (off-panel, large speech bubble): Apologize for conquering Earth and ruling with an iron fist until you were executed, mega-cat-brain!
Mega-cat-brain (small reply): Never!
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. A woman with curly hair, hands clasped in prayer, asks God, 'God, do cats go to heaven?' God, depicted as a glowing yellow-green circle, replies, 'No.' God explains: 'Humans have the minimum level of cortical neurons required for entry into heaven. Humans have roughly 70 times more than a typical housecat.' The woman, now smiling slyly, asks, 'What if I used brain-computer interfaces to daisy-chain 70 housecats together?' God hesitates: 'Well, that's... that's just...' Final panel, captioned 'Later, in heaven...': a huge brain made of dozens of cats wired together has floated up into the clouds of heaven, and God says, 'This is why I hate science.' Votey: A close-up of the glowing God shouting at the cat-brain, 'Apologize for conquering Earth and ruling with an iron fist until you were executed, mega-cat-brain!' The mega-cat-brain answers defiantly, 'Never!'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.