Auteur
Original: Auteur on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title (top banner): I COLLECT TIMES CANONICAL AUTHORS HAVE TALKED SHIT ABOUT EACH OTHER.
The comic is a grid of six panels, each with a pink or colored header naming the quote, followed by the quote text and a drawing of two authors.
Panel 1 — Header: BUTLER ON MILTON
Text: He said: "Oh, don't talk about rewards. Look at Milton, who only got £5 for 'Paradise Lost.'"
"And a great deal too much," I rejoined promptly. "I would have given him twice as much myself not to have written it at all."
(Drawing: two men, one bearded.)
Panel 2 — Header: EMERSON ON POE
Text: "Whose criticisms?" asked Emerson.
"Poe's," I said again.
"Oh," he cried out, after a moment, as if he had returned from a far search for my meaning, "you mean the jingle-man!"
(Drawing: two men.)
Panel 3 — Header: TWAIN ON POE AND AUSTEN
Text: "...To me his prose is unreadable—like Jane Austin's [sic]. No, there is a difference. I could read his prose on salary, but not Jane's. Jane is entirely impossible. It seems a great pity that they allowed her to die a natural death."
(Drawing: a mustached man with bushy hair, beside another man.)
Panel 4 — Header: WODEHOUSE ON MILNE
Text: "I find that my personal animosity against a writer never affects my opinion of what he writes. Nobody could be more anxious than myself, for instance, that Alan Alexander Milne should trip over a loose boot lace and break his bloody neck, yet I re-read his early stuff at regular intervals..."
(Drawing: a balding man with round glasses smoking a pipe, beside another man.)
Panel 5 — Header: BORGES ON TOLKIEN [REFERRING TO THE LORD OF THE RINGS]
Text: "I wish somebody would explain it to me or somehow convey what the book's good for... Maybe I'm being unjust to Tolkien but, yes, I think of him as rambling on and on."
(Drawing: two men.)
Panel 6 — Header: ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON ON ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON
Text: "It bored me hellishly to write the Emigrant; well, it's going to bore others to read it; that's only fair."
(Drawing: two mustached men who look alike — Stevenson and himself.)
Sources (bottom): The Way of All Flesh by Samuel Butler; Literary Friends and Acquaintances by William Dean Howells; Mark Twain's Letters, Volume VI: 1907–1910; P.G. Wodehouse: A Life in Letters, editor Sophie Ratcliffe; Jorge Luis Borges: Conversations, editor Richard Burgin; The Letters of Robert Louis Stevenson, editor Sidney Colvin.
PATREON.COM/ZACHWEINERSMITH SMBC-COMICS.COM
Votey:
I'VE BEEN KEEPING THIS LIST FOR YEARS, BUT COULDN'T MAKE IT A COMIC UNTIL I FOUND THAT STEVENSON QUOTE IN AA MILNE'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY
The comic is a grid of six panels, each with a pink or colored header naming the quote, followed by the quote text and a drawing of two authors.
Panel 1 — Header: BUTLER ON MILTON
Text: He said: "Oh, don't talk about rewards. Look at Milton, who only got £5 for 'Paradise Lost.'"
"And a great deal too much," I rejoined promptly. "I would have given him twice as much myself not to have written it at all."
(Drawing: two men, one bearded.)
Panel 2 — Header: EMERSON ON POE
Text: "Whose criticisms?" asked Emerson.
"Poe's," I said again.
"Oh," he cried out, after a moment, as if he had returned from a far search for my meaning, "you mean the jingle-man!"
(Drawing: two men.)
Panel 3 — Header: TWAIN ON POE AND AUSTEN
Text: "...To me his prose is unreadable—like Jane Austin's [sic]. No, there is a difference. I could read his prose on salary, but not Jane's. Jane is entirely impossible. It seems a great pity that they allowed her to die a natural death."
(Drawing: a mustached man with bushy hair, beside another man.)
Panel 4 — Header: WODEHOUSE ON MILNE
Text: "I find that my personal animosity against a writer never affects my opinion of what he writes. Nobody could be more anxious than myself, for instance, that Alan Alexander Milne should trip over a loose boot lace and break his bloody neck, yet I re-read his early stuff at regular intervals..."
(Drawing: a balding man with round glasses smoking a pipe, beside another man.)
Panel 5 — Header: BORGES ON TOLKIEN [REFERRING TO THE LORD OF THE RINGS]
Text: "I wish somebody would explain it to me or somehow convey what the book's good for... Maybe I'm being unjust to Tolkien but, yes, I think of him as rambling on and on."
(Drawing: two men.)
Panel 6 — Header: ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON ON ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON
Text: "It bored me hellishly to write the Emigrant; well, it's going to bore others to read it; that's only fair."
(Drawing: two mustached men who look alike — Stevenson and himself.)
Sources (bottom): The Way of All Flesh by Samuel Butler; Literary Friends and Acquaintances by William Dean Howells; Mark Twain's Letters, Volume VI: 1907–1910; P.G. Wodehouse: A Life in Letters, editor Sophie Ratcliffe; Jorge Luis Borges: Conversations, editor Richard Burgin; The Letters of Robert Louis Stevenson, editor Sidney Colvin.
PATREON.COM/ZACHWEINERSMITH SMBC-COMICS.COM
Votey:
I'VE BEEN KEEPING THIS LIST FOR YEARS, BUT COULDN'T MAKE IT A COMIC UNTIL I FOUND THAT STEVENSON QUOTE IN AA MILNE'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY
Alt text
A six-panel grid titled "I collect times canonical authors have talked shit about each other." Each panel has a colored header naming the quote, the quoted insult, and a drawing of two old-timey authors. 1) BUTLER ON MILTON: someone says only talk of rewards, Milton got just £5 for Paradise Lost; Butler replies he'd have paid Milton twice as much NOT to write it. 2) EMERSON ON POE: told the criticisms are Poe's, Emerson exclaims, "you mean the jingle-man!" 3) TWAIN ON POE AND AUSTEN: Twain calls Poe's prose unreadable like Jane Austen's, says he could read Poe on salary but not Jane, and that it's a pity she was allowed to die a natural death. 4) WODEHOUSE ON MILNE: Wodehouse says his animosity never affects his opinion of writing—he'd love A.A. Milne to trip on a boot lace and break his neck, yet re-reads his early stuff. 5) BORGES ON TOLKIEN (re: Lord of the Rings): wishes someone would explain what the book is good for, calls Tolkien rambling on and on. 6) ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON ON ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON: drawn as two identical mustached men, he says writing the Emigrant bored him hellishly so it's only fair it bores readers too. A sources list of letters and biographies runs along the bottom. The red votey button reads: the author has been keeping this list of insults for years but couldn't make it a comic until finding that Stevenson quote in A.A. Milne's autobiography.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.