Ritual
Original: Ritual on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman: How do you stay so happy in such a boring job?
Older bearded man (later addressed as Whitaker): It's about perspective.
Panel 2:
Whitaker: I've been here thirty years and the entire time I've imagined every action I took as part of a specific elaborate ritual to summon Satan's kingdom upon Earth.
Panel 3:
(A younger boss/coworker in a suit leans in, interrupting.)
Boss: Hey Whitaker, need you to attend a mandatory barbecue. Four hours, Saturday.
Panel 4:
Whitaker (internal/grim narration): Good, goooood. The time draws ever closer.
Panel 5:
Boss: Love your attitude, Whitaker.
Panel 6:
(Whitaker sips from a cup; the boss smiles, satisfied. No dialogue.)
Votey:
Caption at top: THANK YOU DARK MASTER.
(An old man with closed, content eyes; a speech bubble points to him from off-panel.)
Voice (from a large speech bubble, presumably Satan/the Dark Master): NO PROB!
Woman: How do you stay so happy in such a boring job?
Older bearded man (later addressed as Whitaker): It's about perspective.
Panel 2:
Whitaker: I've been here thirty years and the entire time I've imagined every action I took as part of a specific elaborate ritual to summon Satan's kingdom upon Earth.
Panel 3:
(A younger boss/coworker in a suit leans in, interrupting.)
Boss: Hey Whitaker, need you to attend a mandatory barbecue. Four hours, Saturday.
Panel 4:
Whitaker (internal/grim narration): Good, goooood. The time draws ever closer.
Panel 5:
Boss: Love your attitude, Whitaker.
Panel 6:
(Whitaker sips from a cup; the boss smiles, satisfied. No dialogue.)
Votey:
Caption at top: THANK YOU DARK MASTER.
(An old man with closed, content eyes; a speech bubble points to him from off-panel.)
Voice (from a large speech bubble, presumably Satan/the Dark Master): NO PROB!
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. In panel 1, a woman asks an older bearded man in glasses, “How do you stay so happy in such a boring job?” He replies, “It's about perspective.” In panel 2 he explains, “I've been here thirty years and the entire time I've imagined every action I took as part of a specific elaborate ritual to summon Satan's kingdom upon Earth.” In panel 3 a younger boss in a suit leans in: “Hey Whitaker, need you to attend a mandatory barbecue. Four hours, Saturday.” In panel 4 the bearded man's face goes grimly intense as he thinks, “Good, goooood. The time draws ever closer.” In panel 5 the oblivious boss smiles and says, “Love your attitude, Whitaker.” In panel 6 the bearded man sips calmly from a cup while the boss grins, each reading the moment completely differently. The joke: tedious corporate drudgery reframed as a decades-long demonic summoning. Votey aftercomic: a caption reads “THANK YOU DARK MASTER” over a serenely smiling old man, and a large speech bubble answers, “NO PROB!” as if Satan is casually replying to the thanks.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.