Scrooge
Original: Scrooge on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Ghost (a glowing blue spectral figure): SCROOOOUGE!! I AM THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS EXTREME FUTURE!
Panel 2:
Ghost: WHY WHY DID YOU NOT FIND A WAY TO INDICATE TO HUMANS RNA GENERATIONS FROM NOW WHERE TOXIC WASTE WAS STORRRRRRRRED?
Panel 3:
Ghost: LOOK HOW TINY THIS CYBORG DESCENDANT HAS TO MAKE COSTLY RNA REPAAAAAAAIRS!
(A small cyborg figure stands by, undergoing repairs.)
Caption (below comic): The Longtermist version of A Christmas Carol is way better.
Votey:
Text (handwritten, panel 1): I TRIED, BUT NO, NO, NO, NO
Text (handwritten, panel 2): DON'T GIVE A SHIT.
(Panel: a man slumped over / sitting, looking unbothered.)
Ghost (a glowing blue spectral figure): SCROOOOUGE!! I AM THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS EXTREME FUTURE!
Panel 2:
Ghost: WHY WHY DID YOU NOT FIND A WAY TO INDICATE TO HUMANS RNA GENERATIONS FROM NOW WHERE TOXIC WASTE WAS STORRRRRRRRED?
Panel 3:
Ghost: LOOK HOW TINY THIS CYBORG DESCENDANT HAS TO MAKE COSTLY RNA REPAAAAAAAIRS!
(A small cyborg figure stands by, undergoing repairs.)
Caption (below comic): The Longtermist version of A Christmas Carol is way better.
Votey:
Text (handwritten, panel 1): I TRIED, BUT NO, NO, NO, NO
Text (handwritten, panel 2): DON'T GIVE A SHIT.
(Panel: a man slumped over / sitting, looking unbothered.)
Alt text
A parody of A Christmas Carol. Panel 1: a glowing blue ghost looms over a sleeping figure in bed, shouting 'SCROOOOUGE!! I am the Ghost of Christmas Extreme Future!' Panel 2: the ghost continues, 'Why why did you not find a way to indicate to humans RNA generations from now where toxic waste was storrrrred?' Panel 3: the ghost gestures, 'Look how tiny this cyborg descendant has to make costly RNA repaaaairs!' while a small cyborg figure stands by undergoing repairs. Caption: 'The Longtermist version of A Christmas Carol is way better.' The joke is that instead of guilt over past cruelty, the ghost guilts Scrooge over failing to solve a far-future deep-time problem (warning distant descendants about toxic waste). Votey: a man sits slumped and unbothered, with handwritten text reading 'I tried, but no, no, no, no' and 'Don't give a shit.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.