Give
Original: Give on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (kneeling in prayer at the side of a bed): DEAR CHRIST, SHOULD I GIVE ALL THAT I HAVE TO THE POOR?
Voice (from a glowing halo/light above): YES, MY SON.
Panel 2:
Man: BUT THEN MY ONLY MONEY-MAKING VECTOR IS LABOR. IN THE MODERN WORLD, CAPITAL RETURNS FAR MORE THAN LABOR.
Panel 3:
Man: IF I WANT TO MAXIMIZE MY AID TO THE POOR, I'D BE MUCH MORE SUCCESSFUL ACCUMULATING MASSIVE WEALTH AND LEAVING A BEQUEST TO VETTED CHARITIES.
Panel 4:
(The man sits silently, hands folded, looking up expectantly. No dialogue.)
Panel 5:
Man: HELLO?
Panel 6:
(Scene shifts to the heavens, above the clouds. A bearded figure in a robe — Christ — floats in the sky, addressing a glowing golden coin floating nearby.)
Christ: MAN DO I HATE THESE ULTRA-RATIONALISTS.
Christ (to the coin): YOU CAN'T EVEN FLOOD THEM! THEY'LL JUST MAKE HYDROPOWER!
Votey:
(A simple black-and-white drawing of a glowing coin/orb with a radiating light effect.)
Christ (off-panel speech bubble): I SHALL TURN MANY OF THEM INTO DICKWADS!
Man (kneeling in prayer at the side of a bed): DEAR CHRIST, SHOULD I GIVE ALL THAT I HAVE TO THE POOR?
Voice (from a glowing halo/light above): YES, MY SON.
Panel 2:
Man: BUT THEN MY ONLY MONEY-MAKING VECTOR IS LABOR. IN THE MODERN WORLD, CAPITAL RETURNS FAR MORE THAN LABOR.
Panel 3:
Man: IF I WANT TO MAXIMIZE MY AID TO THE POOR, I'D BE MUCH MORE SUCCESSFUL ACCUMULATING MASSIVE WEALTH AND LEAVING A BEQUEST TO VETTED CHARITIES.
Panel 4:
(The man sits silently, hands folded, looking up expectantly. No dialogue.)
Panel 5:
Man: HELLO?
Panel 6:
(Scene shifts to the heavens, above the clouds. A bearded figure in a robe — Christ — floats in the sky, addressing a glowing golden coin floating nearby.)
Christ: MAN DO I HATE THESE ULTRA-RATIONALISTS.
Christ (to the coin): YOU CAN'T EVEN FLOOD THEM! THEY'LL JUST MAKE HYDROPOWER!
Votey:
(A simple black-and-white drawing of a glowing coin/orb with a radiating light effect.)
Christ (off-panel speech bubble): I SHALL TURN MANY OF THEM INTO DICKWADS!
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. In panel one, a red-haired man kneels in prayer beside a bed and asks, "Dear Christ, should I give all that I have to the poor?" A glowing halo of light above answers, "Yes, my son." Over the next panels the man overthinks it, arguing that since capital returns far more than labor in the modern world, he could maximize his aid to the poor by accumulating massive wealth and leaving a bequest to vetted charities instead. He then sits silently looking up, and finally says, "Hello?" — but gets no reply. The final panel cuts to the heavens above the clouds, where a bearded, robed Christ floats beside a glowing golden coin and grumbles, "Man do I hate these ultra-rationalists. You can't even flood them! They'll just make hydropower!" Votey aftercomic: a rough black-and-white sketch of a glowing coin or orb with radiating light, as Christ declares, "I shall turn many of them into dickwads!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.