Branch
Original: Branch on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Bearded man (presenting): Ladies and gentleman, I come before you to propose a new branch of mathematics.
Panel 2:
Bearded man: Our goal is to find the least elegant proofs. Those that take the most effort for the shallowest understanding.
Panel 3:
Bearded man: Consider the game Go, where the number of legal positions for an NxN board can be found in entry A094777 of the On-Line Encyclopedia of Integer Sequences.
Panel 4:
Bearded man: By setting the formula for the sequence equal to Bremermann's limit, we can derive that the entire game-tree of a 16x16 Go board could be explored ONLY by using all time and all matter to manually check every branch.
Panel 5:
Bearded man (holding up a board): Thus with a mere 256 squares, we can achieve perfect play, maximum effort, and an absolute minimum of insight.
Panel 6:
Bearded man (gleeful): This is the third branch of mathematics! It is too ugly to be pure and too useless to be applied! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Panel 7:
A member of the audience: Seize him! Before he destroys everything!
Panel 8:
The bearded man, being grabbed by two people: I can ruin all math with a single 6x6 chessboard!
Audience member: Gag him! Gag him!
Votey:
Homework: Find less elegant math. Least elegant gets 4 SMBC points.
Bearded man (presenting): Ladies and gentleman, I come before you to propose a new branch of mathematics.
Panel 2:
Bearded man: Our goal is to find the least elegant proofs. Those that take the most effort for the shallowest understanding.
Panel 3:
Bearded man: Consider the game Go, where the number of legal positions for an NxN board can be found in entry A094777 of the On-Line Encyclopedia of Integer Sequences.
Panel 4:
Bearded man: By setting the formula for the sequence equal to Bremermann's limit, we can derive that the entire game-tree of a 16x16 Go board could be explored ONLY by using all time and all matter to manually check every branch.
Panel 5:
Bearded man (holding up a board): Thus with a mere 256 squares, we can achieve perfect play, maximum effort, and an absolute minimum of insight.
Panel 6:
Bearded man (gleeful): This is the third branch of mathematics! It is too ugly to be pure and too useless to be applied! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Panel 7:
A member of the audience: Seize him! Before he destroys everything!
Panel 8:
The bearded man, being grabbed by two people: I can ruin all math with a single 6x6 chessboard!
Audience member: Gag him! Gag him!
Votey:
Homework: Find less elegant math. Least elegant gets 4 SMBC points.
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic. A bearded man in glasses stands at a podium addressing an audience. He announces he is proposing a new branch of mathematics whose goal is to find the LEAST elegant proofs, the ones that take the most effort for the shallowest understanding. He cites the game Go, noting the number of legal positions for an NxN board is in entry A094777 of the Online Encyclopedia of Integer Sequences. He explains that by setting the sequence's formula equal to Bremermann's limit, one can derive that fully exploring the game-tree of a 16x16 Go board would require using all time and all matter to manually check every branch. Holding up a small board, he gloats that with a mere 256 squares one achieves perfect play, maximum effort, and an absolute minimum of insight. Grinning maniacally, he declares this 'the third branch of mathematics, too ugly to be pure and too useless to be applied,' and laughs. The audience panics and shouts 'Seize him! Before he destroys everything!' Two people grab him as he yells 'I can ruin all math with a single 6x6 chessboard!' while the crowd cries 'Gag him! Gag him!' Votey panel: handwritten text reading 'Homework: Find less elegant math. Least elegant gets 4 SMBC points.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.