Skills
Original: Skills on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A man with long red hair and a red beard stands in a doorway, gesturing at a younger person with shaggy blond hair who sits nearby.
Red-bearded man: "You'd better treat my daughter right, kid. Because let me tell you..."
Panel 2: Close on the red-bearded man's face, scowling.
Red-bearded man: "I have SKILLS."
Panel 3: Extreme close-up on the red-bearded man's face, eyes narrowed menacingly.
Red-bearded man: "A very PARTICULAR set of SKILLS."
Panel 4: The blond person looks blankly forward.
Blond person: "You draw comic strips."
Panel 5: The red-bearded man jabs an accusing finger at the blond person.
Red-bearded man: "I'll caricature you, with boogers in your nose and a pirate mustache."
Blond person: "Okay sir."
Panel 6: Close on the red-bearded man's face beside the blond person.
Red-bearded man: "You cannot FATHOM how many stink-lines I'll draw!"
Votey: A loose, deliberately crude sketch of a roundish face/head. A speech bubble reads: "I hope you don't like cats because I can't draw cats."
Red-bearded man: "You'd better treat my daughter right, kid. Because let me tell you..."
Panel 2: Close on the red-bearded man's face, scowling.
Red-bearded man: "I have SKILLS."
Panel 3: Extreme close-up on the red-bearded man's face, eyes narrowed menacingly.
Red-bearded man: "A very PARTICULAR set of SKILLS."
Panel 4: The blond person looks blankly forward.
Blond person: "You draw comic strips."
Panel 5: The red-bearded man jabs an accusing finger at the blond person.
Red-bearded man: "I'll caricature you, with boogers in your nose and a pirate mustache."
Blond person: "Okay sir."
Panel 6: Close on the red-bearded man's face beside the blond person.
Red-bearded man: "You cannot FATHOM how many stink-lines I'll draw!"
Votey: A loose, deliberately crude sketch of a roundish face/head. A speech bubble reads: "I hope you don't like cats because I can't draw cats."
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic parodying the movie Taken. A man with long red hair and a red beard confronts a younger shaggy-blond-haired person, presumably his daughter's date. He warns, "You'd better treat my daughter right, kid. Because let me tell you..." then, in escalating menacing close-ups, "I have SKILLS. A very PARTICULAR set of SKILLS." The blond person replies flatly, "You draw comic strips." Undeterred, the red-bearded man points threateningly and says, "I'll caricature you, with boogers in your nose and a pirate mustache," and the blond person meekly answers, "Okay sir." The man leans in, eyes intense: "You cannot FATHOM how many stink-lines I'll draw!" Votey aftercomic: a crude, ugly doodle of a lumpy face with a speech bubble admitting, "I hope you don't like cats because I can't draw cats" -- undercutting his threats by showing his actual limited art skills.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.