dave
Original: dave on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
God (depicted as a large robed figure in clouds): "LORD! DAVES AT IT AGAIN! HE TOLD ME HE WASN'T UP TO ANYTHING THIS SABBATH. BUT THE TRUTH IS HE WAS MURDERING HIS PARENTS, THEN USING A STOLEN IDOL THAT HE WORSHIPS AS A SEX-TOY TO CHEAT ON HIS WIFE WITH HIS NEIGHBOR'S SEXIER WIFE WHILE SHOUTING 'GODDAMN!'"
Lord (a second figure, in a speech bubble): "FUCK'S SAKE. HOLD ON. LEMME WRITE DOWN A LIST."
Bible Fun Fact:
The Ten Commandments were actually created for just one guy.
Votey:
Text (continuing the list being written): "THANKS FOR NOT PUTTING SODOMY IN THERE."
Below the text, a small sketchy drawing of a nervous-looking man's face.
God (depicted as a large robed figure in clouds): "LORD! DAVES AT IT AGAIN! HE TOLD ME HE WASN'T UP TO ANYTHING THIS SABBATH. BUT THE TRUTH IS HE WAS MURDERING HIS PARENTS, THEN USING A STOLEN IDOL THAT HE WORSHIPS AS A SEX-TOY TO CHEAT ON HIS WIFE WITH HIS NEIGHBOR'S SEXIER WIFE WHILE SHOUTING 'GODDAMN!'"
Lord (a second figure, in a speech bubble): "FUCK'S SAKE. HOLD ON. LEMME WRITE DOWN A LIST."
Bible Fun Fact:
The Ten Commandments were actually created for just one guy.
Votey:
Text (continuing the list being written): "THANKS FOR NOT PUTTING SODOMY IN THERE."
Below the text, a small sketchy drawing of a nervous-looking man's face.
Alt text
An SMBC comic riffing on the origin of the Ten Commandments. In the main panel, a robed figure among clouds reports to the Lord: "Lord! Dave's at it again! He told me he wasn't up to anything this Sabbath. But the truth is he was murdering his parents, then using a stolen idol that he worships as a sex-toy to cheat on his wife with his neighbor's sexier wife while shouting 'Goddamn!'" The Lord replies, "Fuck's sake. Hold on. Lemme write down a list." The joke: the Ten Commandments are presented as a list invented in reaction to the misdeeds of a single man, Dave. A Bible Fun Fact below reads: "The Ten Commandments were actually created for just one guy." The votey (aftercomic) shows the continued list-writing with the text "Thanks for not putting sodomy in there," implying Dave is relieved his one remaining vice escaped the rules, accompanied by a small sketch of a nervous man's face.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.