replicant
Original: replicant on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman (blonde, pointing a gun): SHOOT HIM! I'M THE REAL STEVE! HE'S A REPLICANT!
Panel 2:
Two identical men grappling with each other.
Man being grabbed: NO! SHOOT HIM! I'M THE REAL STEVE!
Panel 3:
Woman (lowering the gun, explaining): WAIT, YOU'RE BOTH CLEARLY REPLICANTS. THERE'S A TINY EXPOSED PERIPHERAL IN THE CORNER OF EACH OF YOUR EYES.
Panel 4:
The two men look at each other, puzzled.
Man: IF YOU'RE HUMAN, HOW DID YOU NOTICE THAT?
Panel 5:
Woman (looking down, caught): DAMMIT, YOU GOT ME.
Man: JEEZ, ARE THERE ANY WILD HUMANS ANYMORE?
Man (in silhouette): I'M SAD. I WANNA GO TO THE ZOO AND SEE SOME REAL ONES.
Panel 6:
A group of robots/replicants stand at a railing looking down into an enclosure, where a hairy caveman-like human paces.
A replicant (off-panel speech): GOSH, SHE JUST KEEPS PACING AND EATING.
Another replicant: WISH THEY HAD A BIGGER ENCLOSURE.
Votey:
A blonde person (line-art drawing) smiles slyly.
Blonde person: I'M GONNA THROW IT SOME CORN.
Woman (blonde, pointing a gun): SHOOT HIM! I'M THE REAL STEVE! HE'S A REPLICANT!
Panel 2:
Two identical men grappling with each other.
Man being grabbed: NO! SHOOT HIM! I'M THE REAL STEVE!
Panel 3:
Woman (lowering the gun, explaining): WAIT, YOU'RE BOTH CLEARLY REPLICANTS. THERE'S A TINY EXPOSED PERIPHERAL IN THE CORNER OF EACH OF YOUR EYES.
Panel 4:
The two men look at each other, puzzled.
Man: IF YOU'RE HUMAN, HOW DID YOU NOTICE THAT?
Panel 5:
Woman (looking down, caught): DAMMIT, YOU GOT ME.
Man: JEEZ, ARE THERE ANY WILD HUMANS ANYMORE?
Man (in silhouette): I'M SAD. I WANNA GO TO THE ZOO AND SEE SOME REAL ONES.
Panel 6:
A group of robots/replicants stand at a railing looking down into an enclosure, where a hairy caveman-like human paces.
A replicant (off-panel speech): GOSH, SHE JUST KEEPS PACING AND EATING.
Another replicant: WISH THEY HAD A BIGGER ENCLOSURE.
Votey:
A blonde person (line-art drawing) smiles slyly.
Blonde person: I'M GONNA THROW IT SOME CORN.
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: a blonde woman points a gun and shouts "Shoot him! I'm the real Steve! He's a replicant!" Panel 2: two identical men grapple, one yelling "No! Shoot him! I'm the real Steve!" Panel 3: the woman lowers the gun and explains, "Wait, you're both clearly replicants. There's a tiny exposed peripheral in the corner of each of your eyes." Panel 4: the two men, puzzled, ask "If you're human, how did you notice that?" Panel 5: the woman looks down, caught, saying "Dammit, you got me," while a man says "Jeez, are there any wild humans anymore?" and another, in silhouette, adds "I'm sad. I wanna go to the zoo and see some real ones." Panel 6 (wide): a row of robots and replicants lean on a railing looking down into a zoo enclosure where a hairy, caveman-like human paces; one says "Gosh, she just keeps pacing and eating," another "Wish they had a bigger enclosure." The joke: in a world of replicants, the rare wild human is a zoo exhibit. Votey: a black-and-white line drawing of a smiling blonde person saying "I'm gonna throw it some corn."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.