god-3
Original: god-3 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (praying): Dear Jesus, I'm having trouble communicating with my girlfriend.
God (yellow speech bubble): Hey, Jesus is out washing leper's feet, this is Original God and I am ON THE CASE.
Panel 2:
Man: Oh no no I'm good actually my girlfriend is perfect.
God (yellow speech bubble): For her perfidy I have blotted out the sky over Sharon's apartment!
Panel 3:
Man: STOP!
God (yellow speech bubble): She has been turned into salt and the salt is scattered over the land and there is great lamenting among her roommates!
Panel 4:
Man (crying out, hands raised): NOOOOOOO
God (yellow speech bubble): It's okay, you get a new woman, four kids, and a goat.
Votey:
God (speech bubble, off-panel): Hey, you okay? How about six goats? Why are you crying?
(Below, a sobbing figure is drawn in loose scribbled lines.)
Man (praying): Dear Jesus, I'm having trouble communicating with my girlfriend.
God (yellow speech bubble): Hey, Jesus is out washing leper's feet, this is Original God and I am ON THE CASE.
Panel 2:
Man: Oh no no I'm good actually my girlfriend is perfect.
God (yellow speech bubble): For her perfidy I have blotted out the sky over Sharon's apartment!
Panel 3:
Man: STOP!
God (yellow speech bubble): She has been turned into salt and the salt is scattered over the land and there is great lamenting among her roommates!
Panel 4:
Man (crying out, hands raised): NOOOOOOO
God (yellow speech bubble): It's okay, you get a new woman, four kids, and a goat.
Votey:
God (speech bubble, off-panel): Hey, you okay? How about six goats? Why are you crying?
(Below, a sobbing figure is drawn in loose scribbled lines.)
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. A man kneels in prayer and says, 'Dear Jesus, I'm having trouble communicating with my girlfriend.' A reply comes in a yellow speech bubble: 'Hey, Jesus is out washing leper's feet, this is Original God and I am ON THE CASE.' Alarmed, the man backpedals: 'Oh no no I'm good actually my girlfriend is perfect.' But the wrathful Old Testament God has already begun: 'For her perfidy I have blotted out the sky over Sharon's apartment!' The man shouts 'STOP!' as God continues, 'She has been turned into salt and the salt is scattered over the land and there is great lamenting among her roommates!' In the final panel the horrified man throws up his hands and screams a giant 'NOOOOOOO,' while God reassures him in a calm yellow bubble: 'It's okay, you get a new woman, four kids, and a goat,' parodying the ending of the Book of Job. Votey aftercomic: from above, God's voice asks, 'Hey, you okay? How about six goats? Why are you crying?' as a crudely scribbled, sobbing figure slumps below.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.