tickle
Original: tickle on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man: Did you know that it's impossible to tickle yourself, since tickling is based on surprise?
Woman: Yes, and it proves the discontinuity of selfhood.
Panel 2:
Woman: If you put on gloves that detect the motion of your fingers, then had robot hands tickle you with an offset of 5 seconds, you would absolutely feel tickled.
Panel 3:
Woman: In fact, knowing it was coming in 5 seconds would HEIGHTEN the ticklish feeling.
Panel 4:
Woman: So, if we accept that you cannot tickle yourself, it follows that the being who initiated the tickle 5 seconds ago is not you.
Panel 5 (silhouettes against a black background):
Woman: Mother of god. There is no I. Only atoms in the void and not forever.
Man: Coooooochie-coochie-coo! Coochie-coochie-coochie-cooooooo!
Votey:
A close-up of the woman's face, eyes wide, mouth open mid-laugh.
Woman: Stop that! Heeheehee NO! Nothing has meaning now heeheeheehee STOP!
Man: Did you know that it's impossible to tickle yourself, since tickling is based on surprise?
Woman: Yes, and it proves the discontinuity of selfhood.
Panel 2:
Woman: If you put on gloves that detect the motion of your fingers, then had robot hands tickle you with an offset of 5 seconds, you would absolutely feel tickled.
Panel 3:
Woman: In fact, knowing it was coming in 5 seconds would HEIGHTEN the ticklish feeling.
Panel 4:
Woman: So, if we accept that you cannot tickle yourself, it follows that the being who initiated the tickle 5 seconds ago is not you.
Panel 5 (silhouettes against a black background):
Woman: Mother of god. There is no I. Only atoms in the void and not forever.
Man: Coooooochie-coochie-coo! Coochie-coochie-coochie-cooooooo!
Votey:
A close-up of the woman's face, eyes wide, mouth open mid-laugh.
Woman: Stop that! Heeheehee NO! Nothing has meaning now heeheeheehee STOP!
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: a man and a woman talk; he says it's impossible to tickle yourself since tickling is based on surprise, and she replies that this proves the discontinuity of selfhood. Panel 2: the woman explains that if you wore gloves that detect your finger motion and had robot hands tickle you with a 5-second delay, you would absolutely feel tickled. Panel 3: she adds that knowing it was coming in 5 seconds would heighten the ticklish feeling. Panel 4: she concludes that since you cannot tickle yourself, the being who initiated the tickle 5 seconds ago is not you. Panel 5: the two are now shown as silhouettes against a black void; she has spiraled into existential dread, saying 'Mother of god. There is no I. Only atoms in the void and not forever,' while the man, undermining her grand philosophy, simply tickles her, going 'Coochie-coochie-coo!' Votey: an extreme close-up of the woman's face with wide eyes and an open laughing mouth as she cries 'Stop that! Heeheehee NO! Nothing has meaning now heeheeheehee STOP!' — collapsing into helpless laughter even as she despairs.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.