three-3
Original: three-3 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A man (shown small, head bowed) speaks toward a glowing green speech bubble representing God.
Man: "Dear evolution, how come sexual reproduction is almost always binary? Why not allow more complex genetic mixing?"
God (green bubble): "Read your bible."
Panel 2: God's green speech bubble continues.
God: "Noah built an ark. Only allowed two of each kind. That was the end of a lot of species."
Panel 3 (caption): "THE THREE-HEADED SLOTH" — depicting a sloth with three heads.
Panel 4 (caption): "THE DAISY CHAIN ORANGUTANG" — depicting orangutans linked together.
Panel 5: An orangutan-like figure trails off saying "It's a ciirrrrrlllle..." beside large stylized text reading "circle of LIIIIIFE".
Panel 6 (caption): "UNICORNS" — depicting white silhouettes of horse-like unicorn creatures.
Panel 7: The man looks downcast in a dim landscape; text above references the animals that perished and the God who flooded the world.
Man: "I can forgive him for drowning the world, but never for this."
Votey:
A close-up of a face. A speech bubble drips down into the panel.
Speaker: "Did you know that phoenixes actually rise from ASSES?"
Man: "Dear evolution, how come sexual reproduction is almost always binary? Why not allow more complex genetic mixing?"
God (green bubble): "Read your bible."
Panel 2: God's green speech bubble continues.
God: "Noah built an ark. Only allowed two of each kind. That was the end of a lot of species."
Panel 3 (caption): "THE THREE-HEADED SLOTH" — depicting a sloth with three heads.
Panel 4 (caption): "THE DAISY CHAIN ORANGUTANG" — depicting orangutans linked together.
Panel 5: An orangutan-like figure trails off saying "It's a ciirrrrrlllle..." beside large stylized text reading "circle of LIIIIIFE".
Panel 6 (caption): "UNICORNS" — depicting white silhouettes of horse-like unicorn creatures.
Panel 7: The man looks downcast in a dim landscape; text above references the animals that perished and the God who flooded the world.
Man: "I can forgive him for drowning the world, but never for this."
Votey:
A close-up of a face. A speech bubble drips down into the panel.
Speaker: "Did you know that phoenixes actually rise from ASSES?"
Alt text
An SMBC comic. A man prays to God (shown as a glowing green speech bubble), asking why sexual reproduction is almost always binary instead of allowing more complex genetic mixing. God tells him to read his bible: Noah's ark only allowed two of each kind, which was the end of many species. A series of captioned panels then shows the fantastical creatures lost in the flood: 'THE THREE-HEADED SLOTH' (a sloth with three heads), 'THE DAISY CHAIN ORANGUTANG' (orangutans linked in a chain), an orangutan trailing off 'It's a ciirrrrrlllle...' beside stylized text 'circle of LIIIIIFE', and 'UNICORNS' (white silhouettes of unicorns). In the final panel the man, downcast, says he can forgive God for drowning the world but never for wiping out these wondrous creatures. Votey: a close-up of a face beneath a dripping speech bubble that says, 'Did you know that phoenixes actually rise from ASSES?'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.