singed
Original: singed on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman: If you saw a child drowning in a river, but you couldn't save him without mussing your clothes... would you do it anyway?
Bald man (annoyed): No! Never!
Panel 2:
Bald man (raising a finger): I've read the Peter Singer book where he poses that example!
Panel 3:
Bald man: The moment I save that kid, in order to be consistent I gotta treat every kid everywhere with the same impartial decency! Can you imagine the price tag?!
Panel 4:
Bald man: It's not sustainable! Sure, if I'd never read Singer, the kid would be worth saving. But now? DROWN! DROWN, YOU LITTLE BASTARD!
Panel 5 (the man gesturing wildly, the woman now standing behind him):
Woman: I'd hate to see what you do in a runaway trolley.
Bald man: Kill the crowd. Fewer witnesses.
Votey:
Bald man (grinning): The worse I become, the easier it is to maintain consistent standards!
Woman: If you saw a child drowning in a river, but you couldn't save him without mussing your clothes... would you do it anyway?
Bald man (annoyed): No! Never!
Panel 2:
Bald man (raising a finger): I've read the Peter Singer book where he poses that example!
Panel 3:
Bald man: The moment I save that kid, in order to be consistent I gotta treat every kid everywhere with the same impartial decency! Can you imagine the price tag?!
Panel 4:
Bald man: It's not sustainable! Sure, if I'd never read Singer, the kid would be worth saving. But now? DROWN! DROWN, YOU LITTLE BASTARD!
Panel 5 (the man gesturing wildly, the woman now standing behind him):
Woman: I'd hate to see what you do in a runaway trolley.
Bald man: Kill the crowd. Fewer witnesses.
Votey:
Bald man (grinning): The worse I become, the easier it is to maintain consistent standards!
Alt text
A four-tier comic. A woman asks a bald, bespectacled man whether he'd save a drowning child if it meant mussing his clothes; he indignantly says "No! Never!" He raises a finger and explains he's read the Peter Singer book posing that example. He argues that saving one kid would, for consistency, obligate him to treat every kid everywhere with impartial decency, and asks if she can imagine the price tag. Getting more agitated, he declares it's not sustainable: if he'd never read Singer the kid would be worth saving, "but now? DROWN! DROWN, YOU LITTLE BASTARD!" He flails his arms wildly. In the final panel the two stand in silhouette: the woman says "I'd hate to see what you do in a runaway trolley," and he replies, "Kill the crowd. Fewer witnesses." Votey: a close-up of the grinning bald man saying, "The worse I become, the easier it is to maintain consistent standards!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.