cuffed
Original: cuffed on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A woman lies in bed beside a balding man. Her wrists are handcuffed. She looks up at him.
Woman: "Mmm... what are the handcuffs for?"
Man: "I wish to implement an implausible guarded fantasy in which you are 28 years old and alluring in a masculine, greying way. I am sexually irresistible, despite both of us being well over 80 in real life. Suffice to say you are neither 28 nor old nor final, neither in excess of 2.5/10 on the bell curve of attractiveness."
Panel 2:
The woman, eyes wide.
Woman: "Now take me, you absolute animal!" *gasp*
Panel 3:
The man, looking deflated/disturbed.
Man: "I did not consent to this level of honesty."
Votey:
No legible text. A loose, sketchy line drawing of a person's head and upper body, with a small framed box of scribbled writing beside them.
A woman lies in bed beside a balding man. Her wrists are handcuffed. She looks up at him.
Woman: "Mmm... what are the handcuffs for?"
Man: "I wish to implement an implausible guarded fantasy in which you are 28 years old and alluring in a masculine, greying way. I am sexually irresistible, despite both of us being well over 80 in real life. Suffice to say you are neither 28 nor old nor final, neither in excess of 2.5/10 on the bell curve of attractiveness."
Panel 2:
The woman, eyes wide.
Woman: "Now take me, you absolute animal!" *gasp*
Panel 3:
The man, looking deflated/disturbed.
Man: "I did not consent to this level of honesty."
Votey:
No legible text. A loose, sketchy line drawing of a person's head and upper body, with a small framed box of scribbled writing beside them.
Alt text
A three-panel black-and-white comic. Panel 1: an elderly couple lies in bed; the woman's wrists are handcuffed and she asks what the handcuffs are for. The balding man launches into a brutally honest, clinical speech describing a fantasy in which they are young and attractive, while bluntly stating that in reality both are well over 80 and rate no higher than 2.5 out of 10 on the bell curve of attractiveness. Panel 2: the woman, eyes wide and apparently aroused, gasps "Now take me, you absolute animal!" Panel 3: the man looks deflated and dismayed, saying "I did not consent to this level of honesty." The joke flips the expectation: his demoralizing candor turns her on while leaving him the uncomfortable one. Votey aftercomic: a loose sketchy doodle of a person with a small box of scribbled, illegible writing beside them.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.