new
Original: new on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Main comic:
Panel 1 (single panel):
A man with a beard, wearing glasses, stands at the head of a dinner table holding out a small spray bottle toward two children seated at the table. He speaks emphatically.
Man: "EAT YOUR DINNER NOW, OR I'LL SPRAY YOU WITH GLORIOUS ENTIRELY NEW BODILY FLUID THAT IS GENETICALLY RECOGNIZABLE AS HUMAN, BUT IS UNANIMAL AND DERIVED FROM MODIFIED YEAST!"
Caption below panel: "Many of the possibilities of CRISPR took years to recognize."
Votey:
A close-up of the same man's face, now grinning confidently with his eyes shut.
Man: "IT'S CALLED SCHMALIVA!"
Panel 1 (single panel):
A man with a beard, wearing glasses, stands at the head of a dinner table holding out a small spray bottle toward two children seated at the table. He speaks emphatically.
Man: "EAT YOUR DINNER NOW, OR I'LL SPRAY YOU WITH GLORIOUS ENTIRELY NEW BODILY FLUID THAT IS GENETICALLY RECOGNIZABLE AS HUMAN, BUT IS UNANIMAL AND DERIVED FROM MODIFIED YEAST!"
Caption below panel: "Many of the possibilities of CRISPR took years to recognize."
Votey:
A close-up of the same man's face, now grinning confidently with his eyes shut.
Man: "IT'S CALLED SCHMALIVA!"
Alt text
A single-panel comic. A bearded man in glasses stands at the head of a dinner table, leaning toward two seated children and brandishing a small spray bottle. He declares: "EAT YOUR DINNER NOW, OR I'LL SPRAY YOU WITH GLORIOUS ENTIRELY NEW BODILY FLUID THAT IS GENETICALLY RECOGNIZABLE AS HUMAN, BUT IS UNANIMAL AND DERIVED FROM MODIFIED YEAST!" A caption beneath reads: "Many of the possibilities of CRISPR took years to recognize." The joke imagines a CRISPR-engineered, yeast-derived faux saliva used as a threat. Votey (aftercomic): a close-up of the same man's grinning, eyes-shut face as he proudly announces the product's name: "IT'S CALLED SCHMALIVA!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.