health-2
Original: health-2 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Charlotte (a woman holding a phone): Oh my god your health gay is full of chemicals you don't pronounce. You can't even pronounce them?!
Woman with flame-like pink hair: Suppose a serial killer points a knife at you and says, "If you don't pronounce all the ingredients in your snack cake, I'll cut off your skin and wear it like a jumper!"
Panel 2:
Woman with flame-like pink hair: Wait, then, Charlotte—
Woman with flame-like pink hair: It happens to me, and has, my breakfast, I'll just say oatmeal, milk, honey, and be set free. And you will be a gaylighter?!
Panel 3:
Charlotte: I thought this was gonna be about chemicals being bad.
Woman with flame-like pink hair: I'm not one of those nutrition nerds, Charlotte.
Votey:
Woman with flame-like pink hair: I guess now is the time to mention I'm a serial killer who turns people's skin into jumpers.
Charlotte (a woman holding a phone): Oh my god your health gay is full of chemicals you don't pronounce. You can't even pronounce them?!
Woman with flame-like pink hair: Suppose a serial killer points a knife at you and says, "If you don't pronounce all the ingredients in your snack cake, I'll cut off your skin and wear it like a jumper!"
Panel 2:
Woman with flame-like pink hair: Wait, then, Charlotte—
Woman with flame-like pink hair: It happens to me, and has, my breakfast, I'll just say oatmeal, milk, honey, and be set free. And you will be a gaylighter?!
Panel 3:
Charlotte: I thought this was gonna be about chemicals being bad.
Woman with flame-like pink hair: I'm not one of those nutrition nerds, Charlotte.
Votey:
Woman with flame-like pink hair: I guess now is the time to mention I'm a serial killer who turns people's skin into jumpers.
Alt text
A three-panel comic. A woman named Charlotte holds a phone and complains that someone's health information is full of unpronounceable chemicals. A woman with flame-like pink hair launches into a rambling hypothetical about a serial killer who would threaten to cut off her skin and wear it like a jumper unless she pronounces all the ingredients in her snack cake. In the second panel she keeps going, listing simple breakfast ingredients—oatmeal, milk, honey—and accusing Charlotte of "gaylighting." In the final panel Charlotte says, "I thought this was gonna be about chemicals being bad," and the pink-haired woman replies, "I'm not one of those nutrition nerds, Charlotte." In the votey (bonus panel), the pink-haired woman confesses, "I guess now is the time to mention I'm a serial killer who turns people's skin into jumpers," revealing her earlier hypothetical was about herself.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.