agi-3
Original: agi-3 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A speaker at a podium outside the "PHYSICS DEPARTMENT" building (a yellow sign reads "PHYSICS DEPARTMENT") addresses a crowd.
Speaker: "Fellow theoreticians, we must stand together against letting an advanced AI solve all of physics!"
Voice from crowd: "But why?"
Panel 2: The speaker continues.
Speaker: "Because all of us believe the universe is fundamentally elegant and simple."
Panel 3: The speaker continues.
Speaker: "That means the final theory is gonna be something like 'there's tiny wobbly cubes' when the AI spits that out, we are gonna look like MORONS."
Panel 4: Close-up of the bearded speaker, looking determined.
Panel 5: Silhouette of the speaker gesturing dramatically at the podium before a crowd.
Panel 6: The speaker, now seen close up with the crowd silhouetted.
Speaker: "Brothers and sisters, do you want to live in a world where sociologists are told their work is complex and interesting and we are out of a job?! Do you want to have to treat chemists with RESPECT?!"
Panel 7: The speaker continues; crowd response in red.
Speaker: "No! NEVER!"
Panel 8: The crowd, now an angry mob, raises fists.
Mob: "Burn the datacenters! Burn them wherever they are! Burrrrn! Burrrrrrrrn!"
Panel 9: One crowd member turns to another.
First person: "Wait, how do we make fire?"
Second person: "We can neglect friction, right?"
First person: "Pretty sure, yes."
Votey:
A man sits on the ground with a frustrated expression.
Man: "Stupid perfectly-smooth sticks won't catch fire!"
Speaker: "Fellow theoreticians, we must stand together against letting an advanced AI solve all of physics!"
Voice from crowd: "But why?"
Panel 2: The speaker continues.
Speaker: "Because all of us believe the universe is fundamentally elegant and simple."
Panel 3: The speaker continues.
Speaker: "That means the final theory is gonna be something like 'there's tiny wobbly cubes' when the AI spits that out, we are gonna look like MORONS."
Panel 4: Close-up of the bearded speaker, looking determined.
Panel 5: Silhouette of the speaker gesturing dramatically at the podium before a crowd.
Panel 6: The speaker, now seen close up with the crowd silhouetted.
Speaker: "Brothers and sisters, do you want to live in a world where sociologists are told their work is complex and interesting and we are out of a job?! Do you want to have to treat chemists with RESPECT?!"
Panel 7: The speaker continues; crowd response in red.
Speaker: "No! NEVER!"
Panel 8: The crowd, now an angry mob, raises fists.
Mob: "Burn the datacenters! Burn them wherever they are! Burrrrn! Burrrrrrrrn!"
Panel 9: One crowd member turns to another.
First person: "Wait, how do we make fire?"
Second person: "We can neglect friction, right?"
First person: "Pretty sure, yes."
Votey:
A man sits on the ground with a frustrated expression.
Man: "Stupid perfectly-smooth sticks won't catch fire!"
Alt text
A nine-panel SMBC comic. A speaker stands at a podium outside a building labeled "PHYSICS DEPARTMENT," rallying a crowd of theoretical physicists: "Fellow theoreticians, we must stand together against letting an advanced AI solve all of physics!" A voice asks "But why?" He explains that all of them believe the universe is fundamentally elegant and simple, so if the AI reveals the final theory is something dumb like "there's tiny wobbly cubes," they'll all look like morons. He whips the crowd into a frenzy: do they want to live in a world where sociologists' work is called complex and interesting, where they're out of a job, where they have to treat chemists with respect?! The mob roars "No! NEVER!" and rises up, fists raised, chanting "Burn the datacenters! Burn them wherever they are!" Then two mob members pause: "Wait, how do we make fire?" "We can neglect friction, right?" "Pretty sure, yes." In the votey, a frustrated man sits on the ground complaining, "Stupid perfectly-smooth sticks won't catch fire!" — the joke being that physicists who idealize away friction can't actually start a fire.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.