loosen
Original: loosen on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (looking up, addressing the sky): God, how can a single particle interfere with itself and create an interference pattern? Why make the universe so weird and confusing?
God (yellow bubble from above): What? What are you talking about?
Panel 2:
Man: Shoot photons at a double slit and you get a wave-like array of dots on a screen.
Panel 3:
God (yellow bubble): What the— oh jeez. Sorry, this universe isn't tightened. One sec.
Panel 4:
God (off-panel, sound effect from the sky): EERNK! EEEERNK! EEEEEERNK! EERNK-EERNK-EERNK!
Panel 5:
God (yellow bubble): Okay, reality should be classical again.
Panel 6:
God (yellow bubble): Uh oh, the sun is collapsing because quantum tunneling doesn't work. Oh well, glad the universe makes more sense to humans.
Panel 7:
God (off-panel sound effect from the sky): EEEEEEERNK!
Panel 8:
Man (panicking, arms raised): Loosen it up! Loosen it up!
Panel 9:
Man (now in silhouette against a black, sunless sky, kneeling with hands raised in prayer): Okay okay! The universe is beautiful and fine-tuned thank you for permitting me a brief bewildered existence!
God (yellow bubble): Amen.
Votey:
Text (appearing as a prayer-continuation prompt): Please add one (1) sacrificed goat to continue the prayer.
Man (looking up, addressing the sky): God, how can a single particle interfere with itself and create an interference pattern? Why make the universe so weird and confusing?
God (yellow bubble from above): What? What are you talking about?
Panel 2:
Man: Shoot photons at a double slit and you get a wave-like array of dots on a screen.
Panel 3:
God (yellow bubble): What the— oh jeez. Sorry, this universe isn't tightened. One sec.
Panel 4:
God (off-panel, sound effect from the sky): EERNK! EEEERNK! EEEEEERNK! EERNK-EERNK-EERNK!
Panel 5:
God (yellow bubble): Okay, reality should be classical again.
Panel 6:
God (yellow bubble): Uh oh, the sun is collapsing because quantum tunneling doesn't work. Oh well, glad the universe makes more sense to humans.
Panel 7:
God (off-panel sound effect from the sky): EEEEEEERNK!
Panel 8:
Man (panicking, arms raised): Loosen it up! Loosen it up!
Panel 9:
Man (now in silhouette against a black, sunless sky, kneeling with hands raised in prayer): Okay okay! The universe is beautiful and fine-tuned thank you for permitting me a brief bewildered existence!
God (yellow bubble): Amen.
Votey:
Text (appearing as a prayer-continuation prompt): Please add one (1) sacrificed goat to continue the prayer.
Alt text
A nine-panel SMBC comic. A red-haired man in a suit looks up at the sky and asks God how a single particle can interfere with itself to make an interference pattern, complaining the universe is weird and confusing. God, speaking in yellow speech bubbles from above, says "What? What are you talking about?" The man explains the double-slit experiment with photons. God realizes "this universe isn't tightened" and says "one sec," then makes loud cranking/wrenching sounds ("EERNK! EEEERNK!") as if tightening a bolt. God announces "reality should be classical again," but then notices the sun is collapsing because quantum tunneling no longer works — still cheerfully glad the universe "makes more sense to humans." The man, now panicking, shouts "Loosen it up! Loosen it up!" In the final panel he is shown as a white silhouette kneeling against a pitch-black, sunless sky, hands raised in prayer, begging: "Okay okay! The universe is beautiful and fine-tuned thank you for permitting me a brief bewildered existence!" God replies "Amen." The joke: God treats the laws of physics like an over-tightened machine, and removing quantum weirdness immediately destroys the sun. The votey aftercomic shows a black-bordered box reading "Please add one (1) sacrificed goat to continue the prayer," with a tiny scribbled goat doodle at the bottom — framing prayer like a software paywall.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.