theodicy-4
Original: theodicy-4 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Kneeling bald person (praying): Dear Alien Conqueror, why do bad things happen to good people?
Panel 2:
Green alien (appearing on a screen/window showing sky): Because bad and good are no longer relevant concepts! There is now only work-hard and not-work-hard.
Panel 3:
Alien: Not-work-harders go to hell, which is a physical place in Texas where we tie you up and pour salty acid into your pain receptors until you see the error of your not-work-harding-ways.
Panel 4:
Bald person: Is heaven a real place too?
Alien: Sure!
Votey:
Alien (peeking up over the bottom edge of the panel, eyes just visible, speech bubble at upper left): Now confess your dirty sins
Kneeling bald person (praying): Dear Alien Conqueror, why do bad things happen to good people?
Panel 2:
Green alien (appearing on a screen/window showing sky): Because bad and good are no longer relevant concepts! There is now only work-hard and not-work-hard.
Panel 3:
Alien: Not-work-harders go to hell, which is a physical place in Texas where we tie you up and pour salty acid into your pain receptors until you see the error of your not-work-harding-ways.
Panel 4:
Bald person: Is heaven a real place too?
Alien: Sure!
Votey:
Alien (peeking up over the bottom edge of the panel, eyes just visible, speech bubble at upper left): Now confess your dirty sins
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic parodying prayer and the afterlife. Panel 1: a kneeling bald person presses their hands together in prayer, asking, "Dear Alien Conqueror, why do bad things happen to good people?" Panel 2: a green alien appears on a sky-filled screen and replies, "Because bad and good are no longer relevant concepts! There is now only work-hard and not-work-hard." Panel 3: a close-up of the alien explaining, "Not-work-harders go to hell, which is a physical place in Texas where we tie you up and pour salty acid into your pain receptors until you see the error of your not-work-harding-ways." Panel 4: the person asks, "Is heaven a real place too?" and the alien casually answers, "Sure!" Votey: the alien peeks up over the bottom edge of the panel with only its eyes showing and says, "Now confess your dirty sins."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.