productivity-4
Original: productivity-4 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title (above the comic): PRODUCTIVITY TIPS
Panel 1:
Caption: FINISH ALL YOUR WEEKLY FLOSSING ON THE FIRST DAY OF THE WEEK!
(A person grins widely while running a long string of dental floss between their teeth.)
Panel 2:
Caption: INSTEAD OF SLEEPING AT NIGHT, JUST WORRY!
Person (lying awake in bed): JUST BECAUSE IT'LL NEVER HAPPEN DOESN'T MEAN I SHOULDN'T PREPARE.
Panel 3:
Caption: NEVER FIND LOVE.
Person: SORRY, WE'RE PERFECTLY COMPATIBLE MENTALLY, EMOTIONALLY, SPIRITUALLY... I DON'T HAVE TIME TO STARE INTO YOUR OCEAN-BLUE EYES, SO - STICK TO SEX?
Panel 4:
Caption: ANSWER ALL OF YOUR EMAILS FOR THE WEEK IN A SINGLE GIANT GROUP-EMAIL!
(An email is shown.)
ATTENTION
Re: tacos for tuesday dinner -
can we double the guacamole?
Re: colonoscopy -
yes, let's proceed
Re: casual friday -
are uncollared shirts too informal?
Re: exploring our kinks together -
can we double the guacamole?
Votey:
A single panel. A person gestures upward while speaking.
Person: NOT SEX-SEX, JUST PICTURES OF FRUIT THAT RESEMBLES GENITALS.
Panel 1:
Caption: FINISH ALL YOUR WEEKLY FLOSSING ON THE FIRST DAY OF THE WEEK!
(A person grins widely while running a long string of dental floss between their teeth.)
Panel 2:
Caption: INSTEAD OF SLEEPING AT NIGHT, JUST WORRY!
Person (lying awake in bed): JUST BECAUSE IT'LL NEVER HAPPEN DOESN'T MEAN I SHOULDN'T PREPARE.
Panel 3:
Caption: NEVER FIND LOVE.
Person: SORRY, WE'RE PERFECTLY COMPATIBLE MENTALLY, EMOTIONALLY, SPIRITUALLY... I DON'T HAVE TIME TO STARE INTO YOUR OCEAN-BLUE EYES, SO - STICK TO SEX?
Panel 4:
Caption: ANSWER ALL OF YOUR EMAILS FOR THE WEEK IN A SINGLE GIANT GROUP-EMAIL!
(An email is shown.)
ATTENTION
Re: tacos for tuesday dinner -
can we double the guacamole?
Re: colonoscopy -
yes, let's proceed
Re: casual friday -
are uncollared shirts too informal?
Re: exploring our kinks together -
can we double the guacamole?
Votey:
A single panel. A person gestures upward while speaking.
Person: NOT SEX-SEX, JUST PICTURES OF FRUIT THAT RESEMBLES GENITALS.
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic titled "PRODUCTIVITY TIPS," each panel offering an absurd time-saving tip. Panel 1, captioned "FINISH ALL YOUR WEEKLY FLOSSING ON THE FIRST DAY OF THE WEEK!", shows a person grinning while yanking a long strand of dental floss through their teeth. Panel 2, "INSTEAD OF SLEEPING AT NIGHT, JUST WORRY!", shows a person lying awake in bed saying, "Just because it'll never happen doesn't mean I shouldn't prepare." Panel 3, "NEVER FIND LOVE," shows a person telling a partner, "Sorry, we're perfectly compatible mentally, emotionally, spiritually... I don't have time to stare into your ocean-blue eyes, so - stick to sex?" Panel 4, "ANSWER ALL OF YOUR EMAILS FOR THE WEEK IN A SINGLE GIANT GROUP-EMAIL!", shows one email mashing unrelated replies together: tacos for Tuesday dinner ("can we double the guacamole?"), a colonoscopy ("yes, let's proceed"), casual Friday ("are uncollared shirts too informal?"), and "exploring our kinks together" ("can we double the guacamole?"). The votey is a single panel: a person gestures upward and clarifies, "Not sex-sex, just pictures of fruit that resembles genitals."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.