destiny-3
Original: destiny-3 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A glowing portal opens behind a red-haired young man (Dave) who is sitting at a desk piled with stacks of paper. A silhouetted figure steps out of the light, hand outstretched.
Figure: DAVE! STOP!
Panel 2: Dave looks back, startled.
Dave: WHAT?
Figure (now visible, an older balding man): I'M FROM THE FUTURE! LISTEN, IN 20 YEARS YOU BECOME A GENOCIDAL DESPOT, WORSE THAN ANY IN HISTORY!
Panel 3: The older man speaks earnestly; Dave listens.
Older man: IT IS IMPORTANT, NO IT IS YOUR DUTY TO BECOME AS UNAMBITIOUS AS POSSIBLE, TO SPARE THE WORLD FROM YOUR EVIL GENIUS.
Panel 4: Dave, looking determined.
Dave: I WILL DO MY PART.
Panel 5: The older man begins to continue.
Older man: AND THAT'S WHY--
A new voice interrupts: GET A JOB, MAN. JESUS.
The scene reveals Dave is now a grown adult slouched on a couch playing a video game, while another man (apparently a roommate or parent) stands behind the couch, hands on hips, exasperated.
Votey:
A speech bubble: MUCH BETTER!
Below it, a crude child-like doodle of a face (a smiley with squiggly hair).
Bottom caption (bonus comic notice): THIS IS A BONUS COMIC BROUGHT TO YOU BY EARLY BUYERS OF MY NEW BOOK, A CITY ON MARS, WHICH ANDY WEIR SAID WAS "SCIENTIFIC, EDUCATIONAL, AND FUN AS HELL." THE MORE WE SELL, THE MORE BONUS COMICS I'M COMPELLED TO MAKE. CLICK FOR MORE INFO!
smbc-comics.com
Figure: DAVE! STOP!
Panel 2: Dave looks back, startled.
Dave: WHAT?
Figure (now visible, an older balding man): I'M FROM THE FUTURE! LISTEN, IN 20 YEARS YOU BECOME A GENOCIDAL DESPOT, WORSE THAN ANY IN HISTORY!
Panel 3: The older man speaks earnestly; Dave listens.
Older man: IT IS IMPORTANT, NO IT IS YOUR DUTY TO BECOME AS UNAMBITIOUS AS POSSIBLE, TO SPARE THE WORLD FROM YOUR EVIL GENIUS.
Panel 4: Dave, looking determined.
Dave: I WILL DO MY PART.
Panel 5: The older man begins to continue.
Older man: AND THAT'S WHY--
A new voice interrupts: GET A JOB, MAN. JESUS.
The scene reveals Dave is now a grown adult slouched on a couch playing a video game, while another man (apparently a roommate or parent) stands behind the couch, hands on hips, exasperated.
Votey:
A speech bubble: MUCH BETTER!
Below it, a crude child-like doodle of a face (a smiley with squiggly hair).
Bottom caption (bonus comic notice): THIS IS A BONUS COMIC BROUGHT TO YOU BY EARLY BUYERS OF MY NEW BOOK, A CITY ON MARS, WHICH ANDY WEIR SAID WAS "SCIENTIFIC, EDUCATIONAL, AND FUN AS HELL." THE MORE WE SELL, THE MORE BONUS COMICS I'M COMPELLED TO MAKE. CLICK FOR MORE INFO!
smbc-comics.com
Alt text
A five-panel comic. Panel 1: A red-haired young man named Dave sits at a desk piled high with stacks of paper as a glowing portal opens behind him and a silhouetted figure steps out shouting "Dave! Stop!" Panel 2: Dave turns, startled, saying "What?" The figure, an older balding man, says "I'm from the future! Listen, in 20 years you become a genocidal despot, worse than any in history!" Panel 3: The older man insists it is Dave's duty to become as unambitious as possible to spare the world from his evil genius. Panel 4: Dave, looking resolved, says "I will do my part." Panel 5: As the old man starts "And that's why--," we see Dave years later as a grown adult slouching on a couch playing video games while an exasperated man stands behind him hands on hips, snapping "Get a job, man. Jesus." The joke: heeding the warning, Dave became a do-nothing slacker. Votey (aftercomic): a speech bubble reads "Much better!" above a crude child-like doodle of a smiley face with squiggly hair. A bonus-comic caption notes this comic was funded by early buyers of the author's book A City on Mars.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.