multiverse-3
Original: multiverse-3 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1
Woman in glasses (scientist): Mr. Donaldson, we've used this quantum computer to explore every branch of the multiverse and... there's this woman.
Panel 2
Scientist: She appears in every single branch of the multiverse that contains you, and she always finds you.
Panel 3
Scientist: It's as if two rivers run down a mountain, and though infinite paths open before them, they inevitably come together in the sea.
Panel 4
Man (Donaldson): Is... is she my soulmate?
Panel 5
Scientist: No, she hates you.
Panel 6 (shown across two views: a woman appears in a window/screen yelling, then the man's reaction)
The woman: Fuck you forever, TODD! I popped your tires!
Man: Huh.
Panel 7
Man: How is this possible?
Panel 8
Scientist: Our working hypothesis is that God is a dick.
(In the background a woman is again seen yelling on a screen.)
Votey:
Woman in round glasses: We have a lemma proving that if God exists he's a dick. Now we just have to prove existence.
Woman in glasses (scientist): Mr. Donaldson, we've used this quantum computer to explore every branch of the multiverse and... there's this woman.
Panel 2
Scientist: She appears in every single branch of the multiverse that contains you, and she always finds you.
Panel 3
Scientist: It's as if two rivers run down a mountain, and though infinite paths open before them, they inevitably come together in the sea.
Panel 4
Man (Donaldson): Is... is she my soulmate?
Panel 5
Scientist: No, she hates you.
Panel 6 (shown across two views: a woman appears in a window/screen yelling, then the man's reaction)
The woman: Fuck you forever, TODD! I popped your tires!
Man: Huh.
Panel 7
Man: How is this possible?
Panel 8
Scientist: Our working hypothesis is that God is a dick.
(In the background a woman is again seen yelling on a screen.)
Votey:
Woman in round glasses: We have a lemma proving that if God exists he's a dick. Now we just have to prove existence.
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic. A scientist with glasses tells a man, Mr. Donaldson (red-haired, green shirt), that they used a quantum computer to explore every branch of the multiverse and found a particular woman. She explains the woman appears in every single branch of the multiverse containing him and always finds him, comparing it poetically to two rivers running down a mountain and inevitably meeting in the sea. The man asks hopefully, 'Is... is she my soulmate?' The scientist replies flatly, 'No, she hates you.' A screen shows an angry woman shouting, 'Fuck you forever, TODD! I popped your tires!' The man, called Todd, just says 'Huh.' He asks how this is possible, and the scientist, finger to chin, deadpans, 'Our working hypothesis is that God is a dick.' Votey: a woman in round glasses adds, 'We have a lemma proving that if God exists he's a dick. Now we just have to prove existence.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.