social-media-2
Original: social-media-2 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Interviewer (a seated man at a desk holding a sheet of paper): So why do you want to work in social media?
Panel 2:
Applicant (a man with orange hair): Well, when the robots take over in 3-5 years, they're gonna want a minimum of fuss. That requires human traitors.
Panel 3:
Applicant: But not just ANY human traitor. You want someone with compromisable personal information on the MAXIMUM number of people.
Panel 4:
Applicant: We don't just collect data. We also try to dismantle attention spans to boost revenue via engagement.
Interviewer: SIR THERE ARE LIMITS!
Votey:
Interviewer (a balding man with glasses, eyes closed, gesturing): Go away and never return and please leave information about yourself pertinent to large corporations.
Interviewer (a seated man at a desk holding a sheet of paper): So why do you want to work in social media?
Panel 2:
Applicant (a man with orange hair): Well, when the robots take over in 3-5 years, they're gonna want a minimum of fuss. That requires human traitors.
Panel 3:
Applicant: But not just ANY human traitor. You want someone with compromisable personal information on the MAXIMUM number of people.
Panel 4:
Applicant: We don't just collect data. We also try to dismantle attention spans to boost revenue via engagement.
Interviewer: SIR THERE ARE LIMITS!
Votey:
Interviewer (a balding man with glasses, eyes closed, gesturing): Go away and never return and please leave information about yourself pertinent to large corporations.
Alt text
A four-panel comic of a job interview. Panel 1: An interviewer seated at a desk, holding a sheet of paper, asks an orange-haired applicant, "So why do you want to work in social media?" Panel 2: The applicant answers, "Well, when the robots take over in 3-5 years, they're gonna want a minimum of fuss. That requires human traitors." Panel 3: The applicant continues, "But not just ANY human traitor. You want someone with compromisable personal information on the MAXIMUM number of people." Panel 4: Leaning in earnestly, the applicant says, "We don't just collect data. We also try to dismantle attention spans to boost revenue via engagement," and the interviewer recoils, exclaiming, "SIR THERE ARE LIMITS!" The joke: the applicant's openly villainous, surveillance-capitalist pitch is fine until he admits to wrecking attention spans, which is the one line the interviewer won't cross. Votey: A close-up of the balding, bespectacled interviewer with his eyes closed, gesturing as he says, "Go away and never return and please leave information about yourself pertinent to large corporations." The punchline is that even his dismissal is itself a data-harvesting request.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.