grandfather-paradox
Original: grandfather-paradox on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Young man: I don't think time travel is possible. If it were, I could travel back in time and kill my own grandpa, so I'd never have kids and I'd never exist.
Bearded man (grandpa): Stupid.
Panel 2:
Bearded man (grandpa): Look at you. You edit YouTube videos for a living. You have opinions on French cheese. Your grandpa was probably a farmer or assembly line worker with big gnarly arms who grew up fighting other boys.
Panel 3:
Bearded man (grandpa): He'll kick your ass and fuck your grandma!
Young man: I'm going for a philosophy discussion.
Panel 4:
Narration/caption: While HE's going AT IT with NANA.
(Silhouettes of two figures.)
Votey:
Text (caption, addressed to the young man): GITCHER PARADOX OUTTA MY TIMELINE, GRANDBOY.
(A wild-eyed, bushy-bearded old man rises up out of the ground, glaring.)
Young man: I don't think time travel is possible. If it were, I could travel back in time and kill my own grandpa, so I'd never have kids and I'd never exist.
Bearded man (grandpa): Stupid.
Panel 2:
Bearded man (grandpa): Look at you. You edit YouTube videos for a living. You have opinions on French cheese. Your grandpa was probably a farmer or assembly line worker with big gnarly arms who grew up fighting other boys.
Panel 3:
Bearded man (grandpa): He'll kick your ass and fuck your grandma!
Young man: I'm going for a philosophy discussion.
Panel 4:
Narration/caption: While HE's going AT IT with NANA.
(Silhouettes of two figures.)
Votey:
Text (caption, addressed to the young man): GITCHER PARADOX OUTTA MY TIMELINE, GRANDBOY.
(A wild-eyed, bushy-bearded old man rises up out of the ground, glaring.)
Alt text
Four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: A clean-cut young man tells a bearded older man, "I don't think time travel is possible. If it were, I could travel back in time and kill my own grandpa, so I'd never have kids and I'd never exist." The bearded man replies flatly, "Stupid." Panel 2: The bearded man lectures, "Look at you. You edit YouTube videos for a living. You have opinions on French cheese. Your grandpa was probably a farmer or assembly line worker with big gnarly arms who grew up fighting other boys." Panel 3: Close on the bearded man shouting, "He'll kick your ass and fuck your grandma!" The young man, looking thoughtful, says, "I'm going for a philosophy discussion." Panel 4: Black silhouettes of two figures with the caption, "While HE's going AT IT with NANA" — implying the rugged grandpa would beat and out-mate the time-traveling grandson, so the paradox never even gets started. Votey: A wild-eyed old man with a huge bushy beard erupts up out of the ground, glaring, with the caption "GITCHER PARADOX OUTTA MY TIMELINE, GRANDBOY."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.