transporter-2
Original: transporter-2 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: Two crew members in Star Trek-style uniforms sit at a table. One (a bald man, skeptical) raises a finger and asks the other.
Bald crew member: "Wait, if I get teleported, if you burst me into plasma and reassemble me... do I die? And get replaced by a replica?"
Panel 2: The other crew member (with dark hair) reassures him.
Dark-haired crew member: "No sir. Your body is destroyed, leaving your soul in place. When the precise duplicate is reassembled, the soul enters the body, preserving your immutable identity."
Panel 3: The bald man is now happy and relieved, smiling broadly.
Bald crew member: "Great! Beam me down!"
Panel 4: A transporter pad. A figure dissolves into flame/energy as it is beamed away.
Panel 5: Back at the table, the two crew members sit together, content.
Votey:
A close-up of a smiling man (bald) with a speech bubble.
Man: "I love what I do, and I'm good at it."
Bald crew member: "Wait, if I get teleported, if you burst me into plasma and reassemble me... do I die? And get replaced by a replica?"
Panel 2: The other crew member (with dark hair) reassures him.
Dark-haired crew member: "No sir. Your body is destroyed, leaving your soul in place. When the precise duplicate is reassembled, the soul enters the body, preserving your immutable identity."
Panel 3: The bald man is now happy and relieved, smiling broadly.
Bald crew member: "Great! Beam me down!"
Panel 4: A transporter pad. A figure dissolves into flame/energy as it is beamed away.
Panel 5: Back at the table, the two crew members sit together, content.
Votey:
A close-up of a smiling man (bald) with a speech bubble.
Man: "I love what I do, and I'm good at it."
Alt text
A black-and-white SMBC comic parodying Star Trek transporters. A skeptical bald crew member in a Starfleet-style uniform asks his dark-haired colleague at a table whether being teleported -- burst into plasma and reassembled -- means he dies and is replaced by a replica. The colleague reassures him: no, the body is destroyed but the soul stays in place, then enters the reassembled duplicate body, preserving his immutable identity. Satisfied, the bald man happily says "Great! Beam me down!" The next panel shows a transporter pad where a figure dissolves into a column of flame-like energy, then the two crew members sit calmly together. Votey: a close-up of the smiling man saying "I love what I do, and I'm good at it" -- implying the soul-shuffling explanation was just a comforting lie he tells to do his job.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.