shining
Original: shining on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1
Chatbot (speech from off-panel): Do you think modern humans struggle because of their alienation?
Man with blue hair: No! The problem is that our alienation is really BORING.
Panel 2
Chatbot: I mean imagine you grew up among religious heretics or a deep resistance movement. You're alienated from society but in a meaning-filled way!
Panel 3
Man: I'm socially alienated because there are games on my phone that are really FUN and so when a polite stranger wants to talk, I brush them off and then perceive THEM as the rude party!
Panel 4
Man: I am disconnected from my fellow man because I'm trying to match boxes on a tiny screen. The boxes aren't even real! And I pay for this!
(The man holds his phone, screen reading: CLASH OF THE TOWER SWIPE MATCHER PUZZLE)
Panel 5
Chatbot: That level of isolation should require you to stake a position in the world and defend it. To break yourself like a sword against stone, in battle against the wicked forces arrayed around you!
Panel 6
Man (anguished, shouting): But I am not broken into shining pieces! I am a corroded lump of goo!
Panel 7 (silhouette of a screaming figure on black)
Man (echoing): A CORRODED LUMP OF GOOOOOOOO
Panel 8
Chatbot: I'm sorry, sir. But, you have me now.
Man (slumped, holding phone): Thank you, chatbot. I am healed.
(Final panel shows the man at a table across from a small robot/chatbot device with a glowing eye.)
Votey:
Man (speech bubble, partly hidden): Porn.
Chatbot (small robot device): yessir
Chatbot (speech from off-panel): Do you think modern humans struggle because of their alienation?
Man with blue hair: No! The problem is that our alienation is really BORING.
Panel 2
Chatbot: I mean imagine you grew up among religious heretics or a deep resistance movement. You're alienated from society but in a meaning-filled way!
Panel 3
Man: I'm socially alienated because there are games on my phone that are really FUN and so when a polite stranger wants to talk, I brush them off and then perceive THEM as the rude party!
Panel 4
Man: I am disconnected from my fellow man because I'm trying to match boxes on a tiny screen. The boxes aren't even real! And I pay for this!
(The man holds his phone, screen reading: CLASH OF THE TOWER SWIPE MATCHER PUZZLE)
Panel 5
Chatbot: That level of isolation should require you to stake a position in the world and defend it. To break yourself like a sword against stone, in battle against the wicked forces arrayed around you!
Panel 6
Man (anguished, shouting): But I am not broken into shining pieces! I am a corroded lump of goo!
Panel 7 (silhouette of a screaming figure on black)
Man (echoing): A CORRODED LUMP OF GOOOOOOOO
Panel 8
Chatbot: I'm sorry, sir. But, you have me now.
Man (slumped, holding phone): Thank you, chatbot. I am healed.
(Final panel shows the man at a table across from a small robot/chatbot device with a glowing eye.)
Votey:
Man (speech bubble, partly hidden): Porn.
Chatbot (small robot device): yessir
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic in which a small chatbot robot counsels a despairing blue-haired man. The chatbot asks if modern humans struggle because of their alienation. The man insists the real problem is that his alienation is boring. The chatbot suggests imagining a meaningful alienation, like growing up among religious heretics or in a deep resistance movement. The man counters that he's alienated because phone games are fun, so he brushes off polite strangers and then sees THEM as rude; he's disconnected because he matches boxes on a tiny screen in a paid game called 'Clash of the Tower Swipe Matcher Puzzle' where the boxes aren't even real. The chatbot says that level of isolation should make him stake a position and break himself like a sword against stone in battle. The man screams that he is not broken into shining pieces, he is 'a corroded lump of goo' (drawn out as a long wail over a black silhouette panel). The chatbot replies, 'I'm sorry, sir. But, you have me now.' The slumped man, sitting across a table from the small robot, says, 'Thank you, chatbot. I am healed.' Votey aftercomic: the man's speech bubble simply says 'Porn.' and the chatbot answers 'yessir.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.