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intro

Original: intro on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

Transcript

Panel 1:
Lecturer (a man, gesturing to a classroom of students): "The introductory paragraph must ALWAYS start with an explanation of how the ensuing words were not yours, but rather were found in a piece of parchment inside a bottle, itself at the bottom of an ancient shipwreck and containing a letter dated from the distant future discussing secrets of the current era."

Panel 2:
A student in the class (a man with red hair): "Then what?"

Panel 3:
The lecturer (close-up, an intense-looking man with dark hair and a mustache): "Topic sentence."

Panel 4:
Exterior shot of a tall, dark building under a night sky. A sign in front reads: "EDGAR ALLAN POE SCHOOL OF ENGLISH COMPOSITION"

Votey:
Close-up of the lecturer (the Edgar Allan Poe-like man) speaking: "Make sure to conclude with only one survivor gone mad."

Alt text

A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: A lecturer stands before a classroom of seated students, gesturing, and says, "The introductory paragraph must ALWAYS start with an explanation of how the ensuing words were not yours, but rather were found in a piece of parchment inside a bottle, itself at the bottom of an ancient shipwreck and containing a letter dated from the distant future discussing secrets of the current era." Panel 2: A red-haired student in the audience asks, "Then what?" Panel 3: A close-up of the intense, mustachioed lecturer who answers flatly, "Topic sentence." Panel 4: An exterior nighttime shot of a tall dark building with a sign reading "EDGAR ALLAN POE SCHOOL OF ENGLISH COMPOSITION," revealing the absurdly elaborate gothic writing advice is being taught at a school named after Poe. Votey aftercomic: A close-up of the same Poe-like lecturer adding, "Make sure to conclude with only one survivor gone mad."

Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.