prometheus
Original: prometheus on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (banner): Prometheus stands atop a mountain holding a flame aloft, addressing humanity below.
Prometheus: HUMANITY! I GIVE YOU FIRE!
Panel 2:
A man: OOH, NICE!
Another man: I'M GONNA INVENT BURGERS.
Panel 3:
The gods (Zeus and others, in the clouds): PROMETHEUS! PROMEEEEETHEUS! WE'RE NOT STOP GIVING HUMANS DIVINE SECRETS!?
Panel 4:
Narration / Zeus: AS PUNISHMENT, YOU WILL BE SHACKLED TO STONE, AND EVERY DAY AN EAGLE WILL PECK THE ORGANS FROM YOUR BELLY!
Panel 5:
Caption: MANY EONS HENCE.
(Prometheus chained to the mountain.)
Panel 6:
Prometheus: JEEZ, WHERE'S THAT EAGLE? IT'S ALMOST SUNDOWN. HEY HUMANS!
Panel 7:
Prometheus: LONG TIME, NO SEE. DID YOU HAPPEN TO SEE AN EAGLE ON YOUR WAY HERE?
A man: OH MAN. YEAH, EAGLES. THERE ARE NO MORE EAGLES.
Panel 8:
Prometheus: WHAT?
The man: THANKS TO THE EAGLES NEEDED A LARGE DESIGN OF CONTINUOUS HABITAT AND WELL, SO TO ME. YOU'LL BE GLAD TO HEAR ONLY WE HAVE COMBINATION ENGINEERING THEY DON'T.
Panel 9:
Prometheus: TURNS OUT IF YOU HAVE FIRE, YOU CAN SPIN A TURBINE, AND IF YOU CAN SPIN A TURBINE, THE UNIVERSE DOES WHATEVER YOU LIKE.
The man: HAH.
Panel 10:
The man: BUT... DON'T YOU FEEL, THEN, THAT SOMETHING IS LOST?
Prometheus: WHAT? POVERTY? HUNGER? INFANT MORTALITY?
Panel 11:
The man: IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'M JUST GONNA HANG OUT ON THIS ROCK AND THINK FOR A WHILE.
Prometheus: SORRY, I HAVE MODERN RIGHTS TO THAT ROCK.
Votey: Close on Prometheus's face/belly area against the rock.
Prometheus: WAIT, CAN YOU DRONE SOME FOOD INTO MY MOUTH?
Prometheus: HUMANITY! I GIVE YOU FIRE!
Panel 2:
A man: OOH, NICE!
Another man: I'M GONNA INVENT BURGERS.
Panel 3:
The gods (Zeus and others, in the clouds): PROMETHEUS! PROMEEEEETHEUS! WE'RE NOT STOP GIVING HUMANS DIVINE SECRETS!?
Panel 4:
Narration / Zeus: AS PUNISHMENT, YOU WILL BE SHACKLED TO STONE, AND EVERY DAY AN EAGLE WILL PECK THE ORGANS FROM YOUR BELLY!
Panel 5:
Caption: MANY EONS HENCE.
(Prometheus chained to the mountain.)
Panel 6:
Prometheus: JEEZ, WHERE'S THAT EAGLE? IT'S ALMOST SUNDOWN. HEY HUMANS!
Panel 7:
Prometheus: LONG TIME, NO SEE. DID YOU HAPPEN TO SEE AN EAGLE ON YOUR WAY HERE?
A man: OH MAN. YEAH, EAGLES. THERE ARE NO MORE EAGLES.
Panel 8:
Prometheus: WHAT?
The man: THANKS TO THE EAGLES NEEDED A LARGE DESIGN OF CONTINUOUS HABITAT AND WELL, SO TO ME. YOU'LL BE GLAD TO HEAR ONLY WE HAVE COMBINATION ENGINEERING THEY DON'T.
Panel 9:
Prometheus: TURNS OUT IF YOU HAVE FIRE, YOU CAN SPIN A TURBINE, AND IF YOU CAN SPIN A TURBINE, THE UNIVERSE DOES WHATEVER YOU LIKE.
The man: HAH.
Panel 10:
The man: BUT... DON'T YOU FEEL, THEN, THAT SOMETHING IS LOST?
Prometheus: WHAT? POVERTY? HUNGER? INFANT MORTALITY?
Panel 11:
The man: IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'M JUST GONNA HANG OUT ON THIS ROCK AND THINK FOR A WHILE.
Prometheus: SORRY, I HAVE MODERN RIGHTS TO THAT ROCK.
Votey: Close on Prometheus's face/belly area against the rock.
Prometheus: WAIT, CAN YOU DRONE SOME FOOD INTO MY MOUTH?
Alt text
An eleven-panel Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal comic. A wide top banner shows the titan Prometheus standing atop a mountain, holding a torch of fire aloft, proclaiming "HUMANITY! I GIVE YOU FIRE!" Two men below react: "Ooh, nice!" and "I'm gonna invent burgers." Up in the clouds, Zeus and the other gods are furious: "Prometheus! We're done with you giving humans divine secrets!?" As punishment, the gods declare Prometheus will be shackled to stone and have an eagle peck the organs from his belly every day. A caption reads "Many eons hence," showing Prometheus chained to the bare mountain, complaining the eagle is late at sundown. He calls to passing humans, asking if they've seen an eagle. A man explains there are no more eagles, casually noting that humanity's technological growth (continuous habitat / engineering) drove them extinct. Prometheus muses that with fire you can spin a turbine, and with a turbine the universe does whatever you like. The man asks whether something has been lost; Prometheus retorts, "What? Poverty? Hunger? Infant mortality?" The man says he'll just hang out on the rock and think for a while, but Prometheus claims he has modern rights to that rock. In the final votey panel, a close-up of Prometheus still bound to the rock, he asks: "Wait, can you drone some food into my mouth?"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.