end-times

A six-panel comic. A red-haired man stands looking up and talking to God, who is off-panel and speaks in word balloons from above. Panel 1 - Man: "Hey God, why no second coming?" God: "It's your fault." Panel 2 - God quotes Matthew 25:13: "...ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of Man cometh." Man: "I don't get it." Panel 3 - God: "Literally every single calendar day since Jesus was born has been singled out by someone for the apocalypse." Panel 4 - God: "I said I'd do it when nobody expects it, so I literally can't do it because you freaks keep expecting it every day and every hour. Just chill out for one second down there and we can all get on with eternity!" Panel 5 - Man, looking down sheepishly: "Sorry, we're a pretty pessimistic bunch." Panel 6 - The man is small at the bottom of a tall panel; God's voice booms down from far above: "I don't even know if I want y'all anymore." Votey: A close-up of the man's resigned face with God's caption above: "Literally every other species just hangs out!" The joke: humanity's constant doomsday predictions make the surprise second coming logically impossible, and God is exasperated that no other species frets about the apocalypse.