genie-2
Original: genie-2 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A lecturer (a man in a dark coat, gesturing) stands at the front of a classroom addressing seated students.
Lecturer: "The introductory paragraph must ALWAYS start with an explanation of how the ensuing words were not yours, but rather were found in a piece of parchment inside a bottle, itself at the bottom of an ancient shipwreck and containing a letter dated from the distant future discussing secrets of the current era."
Panel 2: Close on the students in the classroom. One student (a man with reddish hair and a mustache) speaks.
Student: "Then what?"
Panel 3: Close-up on the lecturer's face (Edgar Allan Poe, with dark hair and a mustache).
Lecturer: "Topic sentence."
Panel 4: Exterior establishing shot of a tall, dark Gothic building at night. A yellow sign in front reads: "EDGAR ALLAN POE SCHOOL OF ENGLISH COMPOSITION"
Votey:
A close-up of a face (the same Poe-like character, eyes closed) with a speech bubble.
Speaker: "Actually, this whole conversation is emitting too much carbon, sorry!"
Lecturer: "The introductory paragraph must ALWAYS start with an explanation of how the ensuing words were not yours, but rather were found in a piece of parchment inside a bottle, itself at the bottom of an ancient shipwreck and containing a letter dated from the distant future discussing secrets of the current era."
Panel 2: Close on the students in the classroom. One student (a man with reddish hair and a mustache) speaks.
Student: "Then what?"
Panel 3: Close-up on the lecturer's face (Edgar Allan Poe, with dark hair and a mustache).
Lecturer: "Topic sentence."
Panel 4: Exterior establishing shot of a tall, dark Gothic building at night. A yellow sign in front reads: "EDGAR ALLAN POE SCHOOL OF ENGLISH COMPOSITION"
Votey:
A close-up of a face (the same Poe-like character, eyes closed) with a speech bubble.
Speaker: "Actually, this whole conversation is emitting too much carbon, sorry!"
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: A man in a dark coat lectures a classroom of seated students, saying that an introductory paragraph must ALWAYS start by explaining the words were not yours but were found on parchment in a bottle at the bottom of an ancient shipwreck, containing a letter dated from the distant future discussing secrets of the current era. Panel 2: A red-haired, mustached student asks, "Then what?" Panel 3: A close-up reveals the lecturer is Edgar Allan Poe, who answers, "Topic sentence." Panel 4: An exterior night shot of a tall Gothic building with a yellow sign reading "Edgar Allan Poe School of English Composition" — the joke being that Poe's famously elaborate, atmospheric framing devices are taught as basic essay structure. Votey (bonus panel): A close-up of Poe's face with a speech bubble saying, "Actually, this whole conversation is emitting too much carbon, sorry!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.