bandwidth
Original: bandwidth on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Doctor (a woman with glasses in a lab coat): I'm afraid he died of several dozen simultaneous orgasms. His bandwidth was exceeded.
Panel 2:
Doctor: Do not weep for him, Mrs. Williams. He died horny.
(A grieving woman covers her face with her hand.)
Panel 3:
Doctor: Horny as BALLS.
Caption banner: EARLIER THAT NIGHT...
Panel 4:
Woman (the one later addressed as Mrs. Williams): I took a speedtalking class and can emit over 2,000 words of dirty talk during a 3-minute sexual encounter.
Man: Nice!
Votey:
Hand-lettered cursive text: I die this night
(Below the text is a doodle of a man's face in profile, looking downward/somber.)
Doctor (a woman with glasses in a lab coat): I'm afraid he died of several dozen simultaneous orgasms. His bandwidth was exceeded.
Panel 2:
Doctor: Do not weep for him, Mrs. Williams. He died horny.
(A grieving woman covers her face with her hand.)
Panel 3:
Doctor: Horny as BALLS.
Caption banner: EARLIER THAT NIGHT...
Panel 4:
Woman (the one later addressed as Mrs. Williams): I took a speedtalking class and can emit over 2,000 words of dirty talk during a 3-minute sexual encounter.
Man: Nice!
Votey:
Hand-lettered cursive text: I die this night
(Below the text is a doodle of a man's face in profile, looking downward/somber.)
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. In the first three panels, a woman doctor in glasses and a lab coat speaks gravely to a grieving woman who hides her face. The doctor says: "I'm afraid he died of several dozen simultaneous orgasms. His bandwidth was exceeded." Then: "Do not weep for him, Mrs. Williams. He died horny." Then, deadpan: "Horny as BALLS." A red banner reads "EARLIER THAT NIGHT..." and the final panel flashes back to a smiling couple in bed: the woman says, "I took a speedtalking class and can emit over 2,000 words of dirty talk during a 3-minute sexual encounter," and the man replies, "Nice!" The joke: her speed-talking dirty talk drove him to a fatal number of simultaneous orgasms. Votey (bonus panel): hand-lettered cursive text reading "I die this night," above a small doodle of a man's somber face in profile.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.