stats-2
Original: stats-2 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Scientist (a bald man in a white coat, holding up a small device): Behold! A perfected brain-computer interface.
Panel 2:
Scientist: There is no more need for subjective experience. You can know all and process it with the power of a supercomputer.
Panel 3:
Woman (red-haired, in a red vest): But how will I be angry at the internet? That's most of what I do.
Panel 4:
Scientist: Yelling at the internet will still exist, but it will be ritualized out of respect to those who came before.
(The woman and scientist look at each other across panels 5 and 6, the woman now appearing to use/look at the interface device.)
Caption between panels: LATER.
Panel 7 (nighttime exterior of a house):
Child (off-panel/inside, speech bubble): Papa, why is tonight different from all other nights?
Father (speech bubble): Tonight, we misunderstand statistics.
Votey:
Father (speech bubble, silhouette of a parent and child inside the lit house): If we try really hard, we can misunderstand that we misunderstand statistics!
Scientist (a bald man in a white coat, holding up a small device): Behold! A perfected brain-computer interface.
Panel 2:
Scientist: There is no more need for subjective experience. You can know all and process it with the power of a supercomputer.
Panel 3:
Woman (red-haired, in a red vest): But how will I be angry at the internet? That's most of what I do.
Panel 4:
Scientist: Yelling at the internet will still exist, but it will be ritualized out of respect to those who came before.
(The woman and scientist look at each other across panels 5 and 6, the woman now appearing to use/look at the interface device.)
Caption between panels: LATER.
Panel 7 (nighttime exterior of a house):
Child (off-panel/inside, speech bubble): Papa, why is tonight different from all other nights?
Father (speech bubble): Tonight, we misunderstand statistics.
Votey:
Father (speech bubble, silhouette of a parent and child inside the lit house): If we try really hard, we can misunderstand that we misunderstand statistics!
Alt text
A six-panel comic. Panels 1-2: a bald scientist in a white coat holds up a small device and announces "Behold! A perfected brain-computer interface," then says "There is no more need for subjective experience. You can know all and process it with the power of a supercomputer." Panel 3: a red-haired woman replies, "But how will I be angry at the internet? That's most of what I do." Panel 4: the scientist answers, "Yelling at the internet will still exist, but it will be ritualized out of respect to those who came before." Panels 5-6 show the two looking at each other. A caption reads "LATER." Final panel: a quiet nighttime view of a house with one lit window. A child asks, "Papa, why is tonight different from all other nights?" and a parent answers, "Tonight, we misunderstand statistics" - framing arguing about statistics as a solemn ritual, parodying the Passover Seder's Four Questions. Votey: a single panel showing the silhouettes of a parent and child inside the lit house; the parent says, "If we try really hard, we can misunderstand that we misunderstand statistics!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.