sympathy
Original: sympathy on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Person (addressing the heavens against a green void): Hey Evolution, why did you create sympathy in humans? Sympathy doesn't seem red in tooth and claw.
Panel 2:
Evolution (off-panel, replying): Humans aren't red in tooth and claw. They're douchey in word and deed.
Panel 3:
Evolution: Sympathy is just the ability to simulate the behavior of others by briefly viscerally experiencing their outlook.
Panel 4 (text spanning beneath the figure):
Evolution: Humans tell each other that it's a portion of their kindness, when in fact it's REALLY useful for lying. Simulate the feelings of your partner so that you can effectively deceive them and then have sex with someone else and then WHAM, higher evolutionary fitness.
Panel 5:
The person, now kneeling in prayer, silhouetted in a separate black panel and shown again in green.
Person: Dear God, why did you create evolution?
God (speaking from a glowing yellow speech bubble outlined in purple): Lack of sympathy for humans.
Votey:
A man's face in profile.
Man: It's the dead eyes, man. They weird me out.
Person (addressing the heavens against a green void): Hey Evolution, why did you create sympathy in humans? Sympathy doesn't seem red in tooth and claw.
Panel 2:
Evolution (off-panel, replying): Humans aren't red in tooth and claw. They're douchey in word and deed.
Panel 3:
Evolution: Sympathy is just the ability to simulate the behavior of others by briefly viscerally experiencing their outlook.
Panel 4 (text spanning beneath the figure):
Evolution: Humans tell each other that it's a portion of their kindness, when in fact it's REALLY useful for lying. Simulate the feelings of your partner so that you can effectively deceive them and then have sex with someone else and then WHAM, higher evolutionary fitness.
Panel 5:
The person, now kneeling in prayer, silhouetted in a separate black panel and shown again in green.
Person: Dear God, why did you create evolution?
God (speaking from a glowing yellow speech bubble outlined in purple): Lack of sympathy for humans.
Votey:
A man's face in profile.
Man: It's the dead eyes, man. They weird me out.
Alt text
A multi-panel SMBC comic set against a green void. A person gazes upward and asks, "Hey Evolution, why did you create sympathy in humans? Sympathy doesn't seem red in tooth and claw." The unseen voice of Evolution answers: "Humans aren't red in tooth and claw. They're douchey in word and deed." It continues, "Sympathy is just the ability to simulate the behavior of others by briefly viscerally experiencing their outlook. Humans tell each other that it's a portion of their kindness, when in fact it's REALLY useful for lying. Simulate the feelings of your partner so that you can effectively deceive them and then have sex with someone else and then WHAM, higher evolutionary fitness." In the final panel the person kneels in prayer (also shown as a white silhouette in a black panel) and asks, "Dear God, why did you create evolution?" God replies from a glowing yellow, purple-outlined speech bubble: "Lack of sympathy for humans." Votey: a man's face in profile says, "It's the dead eyes, man. They weird me out."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.