app-4
Original: app-4 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman: WOW! HOW ARE YOU SO PRODUCTIVE THESE DAYS?
Man with flame-like hair: THIS NEW APP.
Panel 2:
Man with flame-like hair: IT ADDS "BUT YOU'RE STILL GOING TO DIE" TO EVERY WEBSITE HEADLINE, EVERY SOCIAL MEDIA POST, EVERY VIDEO TITLE.
Phone screen text: Famous singer has nipples, but you're still going to die.
Phone screen text: You won't believe what this man is going to eat, but you're still going to die.
Panel 3:
Man with flame-like hair: NOW I INSTANTLY REACH THE CORRECT CONCLUSION WHICH IS NOT TO ENGAGE WITH TRIVIALITIES AND CLICKBAIT.
Panel 4:
Woman: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH ALL THE EXTRA TIME?
Man with flame-like hair: IT'S MOSTLY DREAD?
Votey:
Man with flame-like hair: I'M THINKING OF TAKING UP SUBSTANCE ABUSE.
Woman: WOW! HOW ARE YOU SO PRODUCTIVE THESE DAYS?
Man with flame-like hair: THIS NEW APP.
Panel 2:
Man with flame-like hair: IT ADDS "BUT YOU'RE STILL GOING TO DIE" TO EVERY WEBSITE HEADLINE, EVERY SOCIAL MEDIA POST, EVERY VIDEO TITLE.
Phone screen text: Famous singer has nipples, but you're still going to die.
Phone screen text: You won't believe what this man is going to eat, but you're still going to die.
Panel 3:
Man with flame-like hair: NOW I INSTANTLY REACH THE CORRECT CONCLUSION WHICH IS NOT TO ENGAGE WITH TRIVIALITIES AND CLICKBAIT.
Panel 4:
Woman: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH ALL THE EXTRA TIME?
Man with flame-like hair: IT'S MOSTLY DREAD?
Votey:
Man with flame-like hair: I'M THINKING OF TAKING UP SUBSTANCE ABUSE.
Alt text
A four-panel comic. Panel 1: A woman asks a man with flame-like hair, "Wow! How are you so productive these days?" He replies, "This new app." Panel 2: Holding his phone, he explains, "It adds 'but you're still going to die' to every website headline, every social media post, every video title." The phone screen shows two clickbait-style headlines: "Famous singer has nipples, but you're still going to die" and "You won't believe what this man is going to eat, but you're still going to die." Panel 3: The man smiles, holding the phone, and says, "Now I instantly reach the correct conclusion which is not to engage with trivialities and clickbait." Panel 4: The woman asks, "What do you do with all the extra time?" The man, looking at his phone, answers, "It's mostly dread?" Votey (aftercomic): A rough sketch close-up of the man's face as he says, "I'm thinking of taking up substance abuse."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.