proof-2
Original: proof-2 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title above panel 1: THEOLOGICAL GAME: RUNNING PROOFS OF GOD IN REVERSE
Panel 1:
A man in a red shirt gestures while speaking.
Man: LOOK AT EVERYTHING HAPPENING TODAY. NONE OF IT HAPPENS FOR ANY REASON. LOGICALLY, THAT'S THE PRODUCT OF NOTHING YESTERDAY HAPPENING FOR ANY REASON. IF WE FOLLOW THE CHAIN OF UNREASON, WE FIND THERE MUST NEVER HAVE BEEN A REASON FOR ANYTHING. THEREFORE THERE IS NO GOD.
Panel 2:
The same man, now in a blue shirt, gestures while speaking.
Man: IF YOU WALK AROUND ON THE BEACH AND YOU FIND A WATCH, YOU INFER THAT SOMEONE MADE IT BECAUSE IT APPEARS INTRICATELY DESIGNED. WE'VE BEEN LOOKING AROUND THE UNIVERSE FOR AGES AND NONE OF IT MAKES ANY GODDAMNED SENSE. WE MUST CONCLUDE THAT THERE IS NO DESIGNER.
Panel 3:
The man, now in a yellow shirt, holds his hands out while speaking.
Man: IF THERE IS A GOD, HE IS THE GREATEST POSSIBLE BEING. BECAUSE EXISTENCE IS OBVIOUSLY WORSE THAN BEAUTIFUL ABSTRACTION, IT FOLLOWS THAT ANY BEING WOULD BE MADE BETTER BY NON-EXISTENCE. THEREFORE, IF THERE IS A GREATEST POSSIBLE BEING, HE MUST NOT EXIST.
Votey:
The man throws both hands up.
Man: ALSO, I JUST HAVE FAITH THAT THERE'S NO GOD.
Panel 1:
A man in a red shirt gestures while speaking.
Man: LOOK AT EVERYTHING HAPPENING TODAY. NONE OF IT HAPPENS FOR ANY REASON. LOGICALLY, THAT'S THE PRODUCT OF NOTHING YESTERDAY HAPPENING FOR ANY REASON. IF WE FOLLOW THE CHAIN OF UNREASON, WE FIND THERE MUST NEVER HAVE BEEN A REASON FOR ANYTHING. THEREFORE THERE IS NO GOD.
Panel 2:
The same man, now in a blue shirt, gestures while speaking.
Man: IF YOU WALK AROUND ON THE BEACH AND YOU FIND A WATCH, YOU INFER THAT SOMEONE MADE IT BECAUSE IT APPEARS INTRICATELY DESIGNED. WE'VE BEEN LOOKING AROUND THE UNIVERSE FOR AGES AND NONE OF IT MAKES ANY GODDAMNED SENSE. WE MUST CONCLUDE THAT THERE IS NO DESIGNER.
Panel 3:
The man, now in a yellow shirt, holds his hands out while speaking.
Man: IF THERE IS A GOD, HE IS THE GREATEST POSSIBLE BEING. BECAUSE EXISTENCE IS OBVIOUSLY WORSE THAN BEAUTIFUL ABSTRACTION, IT FOLLOWS THAT ANY BEING WOULD BE MADE BETTER BY NON-EXISTENCE. THEREFORE, IF THERE IS A GREATEST POSSIBLE BEING, HE MUST NOT EXIST.
Votey:
The man throws both hands up.
Man: ALSO, I JUST HAVE FAITH THAT THERE'S NO GOD.
Alt text
A three-panel SMBC comic titled "Theological Game: Running Proofs of God in Reverse," in which a stick figure delivers inverted versions of classic arguments for God's existence. Panel 1 (red shirt): he argues from a chain of "unreason"—nothing today happens for a reason, which is the product of nothing yesterday happening for a reason, so there was never a reason for anything, therefore there is no God. Panel 2 (blue shirt): an inverted watchmaker argument—you find a watch on the beach and infer a maker because it looks intricately designed, but the universe makes no goddamned sense, so we must conclude there is no designer. Panel 3 (yellow shirt): an inverted ontological argument—God would be the greatest possible being, but since existence is worse than beautiful abstraction, any being is improved by non-existence, so the greatest possible being must not exist. Votey: the same figure throws his hands up and says, "Also, I just have faith that there's no god," undercutting all the careful logic with a punchline of pure faith-based atheism.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.