all-knowing
Original: all-knowing on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Girl (red-haired child): "Father, if God is omnipotent and omniscient explain Matthew 25:13."
Girl: "'Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of Man cometh.'?"
Panel 2:
Girl: "Yeah, that's a clear game theory move. Teachers do it all the time. You can't physically force students to study, but you can tell them at a random moment you'll give them a quiz assessing their current level of ability. That way they study all the time, out of fear."
Panel 3:
Girl: "If you already knew whether they were being diligent or not, there'd be no reason for the pop quiz. Why then is an omniscient deity trying to mess with the incentive structure?"
Panel 4:
Priest: "That... that is not for us to know."
Later...
Panel 5:
Priest (praying, hands clasped): "Dear Lord, is it possible to be all-knowing, all-powerful, all-good, but still lazy about some things?"
Voice from above (yellow caption): "There is literally a whole day for rest. Do you even read the literature I send?"
Votey:
Voice from above: "Also please stop sending such generic prayers. I'm bored out of my mind up here."
(The priest stands below, looking up.)
Girl (red-haired child): "Father, if God is omnipotent and omniscient explain Matthew 25:13."
Girl: "'Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of Man cometh.'?"
Panel 2:
Girl: "Yeah, that's a clear game theory move. Teachers do it all the time. You can't physically force students to study, but you can tell them at a random moment you'll give them a quiz assessing their current level of ability. That way they study all the time, out of fear."
Panel 3:
Girl: "If you already knew whether they were being diligent or not, there'd be no reason for the pop quiz. Why then is an omniscient deity trying to mess with the incentive structure?"
Panel 4:
Priest: "That... that is not for us to know."
Later...
Panel 5:
Priest (praying, hands clasped): "Dear Lord, is it possible to be all-knowing, all-powerful, all-good, but still lazy about some things?"
Voice from above (yellow caption): "There is literally a whole day for rest. Do you even read the literature I send?"
Votey:
Voice from above: "Also please stop sending such generic prayers. I'm bored out of my mind up here."
(The priest stands below, looking up.)
Alt text
A tall vertical comic. Panel 1: A red-haired child confronts a priest, asking, "Father, if God is omnipotent and omniscient explain Matthew 25:13: 'Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of Man cometh.'?" Panel 2: The child argues that the unknown hour is a game-theory move, like teachers using surprise pop quizzes to make students study constantly out of fear. Panel 3: The child, now visibly worked up, reasons that an omniscient God would already know who's diligent, so there'd be no reason for a pop quiz — why is an all-knowing deity messing with the incentive structure? Panel 4: The priest, stumped, replies, "That... that is not for us to know." Final panel, labeled "Later...": The priest kneels in prayer alone, asking, "Dear Lord, is it possible to be all-knowing, all-powerful, all-good, but still lazy about some things?" A yellow caption representing God's reply answers, "There is literally a whole day for rest. Do you even read the literature I send?" Votey aftercomic: God adds, "Also please stop sending such generic prayers. I'm bored out of my mind up here," as the priest stands below looking upward.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.