root
Original: root on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Human: Why do you want me?
Green alien: Jokes.
Panel 2:
Green alien: Humans are the only creatures in the universe who tell jokes. We need you for the grand galactic celebration.
Human: I'm great at jokes!
Panel 3:
Green alien: Oh. No. Right, no. You're rootstock.
Panel 4:
Green alien: One time, a human was born in Newfoundland and it was really funny but its body wasn't sufficiently resistant to Zorblaxian diseases.
Panel 5:
Green alien: So we make clones of its head and stick them on disease-resistant bodies for hardiness.
Human: Well, at least I'm contributing.
Panel 6:
Green alien: Really. It's your viscous mucus that deserves credit.
Votey:
The alien (a long-necked creature) cradles the human and speaks affectionately to it.
Alien: You are such a good mucus source! Yes you are!
Human: Why do you want me?
Green alien: Jokes.
Panel 2:
Green alien: Humans are the only creatures in the universe who tell jokes. We need you for the grand galactic celebration.
Human: I'm great at jokes!
Panel 3:
Green alien: Oh. No. Right, no. You're rootstock.
Panel 4:
Green alien: One time, a human was born in Newfoundland and it was really funny but its body wasn't sufficiently resistant to Zorblaxian diseases.
Panel 5:
Green alien: So we make clones of its head and stick them on disease-resistant bodies for hardiness.
Human: Well, at least I'm contributing.
Panel 6:
Green alien: Really. It's your viscous mucus that deserves credit.
Votey:
The alien (a long-necked creature) cradles the human and speaks affectionately to it.
Alien: You are such a good mucus source! Yes you are!
Alt text
A six-panel comic. A worried-looking human talks with a green alien. The human asks why the alien wants him; the alien answers "Jokes," explaining humans are the only creatures in the universe who tell jokes and are needed for a grand galactic celebration. The human proudly says "I'm great at jokes!" but the alien dismisses him: "Oh. No. Right, no. You're rootstock." The alien explains that one funny human born in Newfoundland wasn't resistant to Zorblaxian diseases, so they clone its head and graft it onto disease-resistant bodies for hardiness. The human says "Well, at least I'm contributing," and the alien replies that really it's his viscous mucus that deserves the credit. Votey panel: the long-necked alien tenderly cradles the human like a pet or plant, cooing "You are such a good mucus source! Yes you are!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.