mqi
Original: mqi on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Child (a girl with orange hair, holding a tablet/device): "Bad news mom, you're doing really poorly on the Momming Quality Index."
Panel 2:
Mother (reading from a paper): "You're condensing every aspect of being a good mom to a single number?"
Mother: "On a scale of 1-10, you're hovering above 3."
Panel 3:
Child (off-panel, pointing): "This includes a variable for 'Quantity of cookies made as compared to Molly's mom.'"
Mother (reading the paper): "Mrs. Crawford, yes. She's 8+ since we've been keeping data and indeed her C-value has been decisive."
Panel 4 (small inset):
Child: "I..."
Panel 5:
Child: "I don't agree with any of the underlying methods yet I have an incredibly strong desire to max out my score."
Panel 6:
Mother (now shown in silhouette, holding the paper): "This would be a good time to mention I accidentally flushed your wallet."
Votey:
Child (in a speech bubble): "I'm going to adjust the metric to mean something else, then note my rapid improvement."
Child (a girl with orange hair, holding a tablet/device): "Bad news mom, you're doing really poorly on the Momming Quality Index."
Panel 2:
Mother (reading from a paper): "You're condensing every aspect of being a good mom to a single number?"
Mother: "On a scale of 1-10, you're hovering above 3."
Panel 3:
Child (off-panel, pointing): "This includes a variable for 'Quantity of cookies made as compared to Molly's mom.'"
Mother (reading the paper): "Mrs. Crawford, yes. She's 8+ since we've been keeping data and indeed her C-value has been decisive."
Panel 4 (small inset):
Child: "I..."
Panel 5:
Child: "I don't agree with any of the underlying methods yet I have an incredibly strong desire to max out my score."
Panel 6:
Mother (now shown in silhouette, holding the paper): "This would be a good time to mention I accidentally flushed your wallet."
Votey:
Child (in a speech bubble): "I'm going to adjust the metric to mean something else, then note my rapid improvement."
Alt text
A six-panel comic. A young girl with orange hair presents her mother with a report. Panel 1: holding a tablet, the girl says, "Bad news mom, you're doing really poorly on the Momming Quality Index." Panel 2: the mother reads a paper and replies, "You're condensing every aspect of being a good mom to a single number? On a scale of 1-10, you're hovering above 3." Panel 3: the girl notes the index includes a variable for 'Quantity of cookies made as compared to Molly's mom,' and the mother reads that Mrs. Crawford is 8+ and her C-value has been decisive. Panels 4-5: the girl admits, "I don't agree with any of the underlying methods yet I have an incredibly strong desire to max out my score." Panel 6, shown in silhouette, the mother calmly says, "This would be a good time to mention I accidentally flushed your wallet" - retaliating against the girl's metric obsession. Votey: the girl, undeterred, declares in a speech bubble, "I'm going to adjust the metric to mean something else, then note my rapid improvement."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.