fake
Original: fake on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1
A man (off-panel/speaking): Anne, I have a confession... I've been faking orgasms.
[A woman with curly brown hair, wearing a green sweater vest over a white collared shirt, looks distressed, hands on her chest.]
Panel 2
Man (a person with dark hair and round glasses): Obviously.
Panel 3
Woman (Anne): You knew?
Man: I noticed five years ago.
[Anne stands behind the man, who sits at a laptop.]
Panel 4
Man: I've been experimentally ramping down the quality of sex ever since. At this point I contribute nothing at all and your behavior remains unchanged!
Panel 5
Man: Look, I got the results published in an economics journal!
[He holds up a paper titled "Erotic Moral Hazard: A Case Study".]
Panel 6
Woman (Anne): We need to work on communication.
Man: No! I just need three more years of data!
Votey:
Caption text: Then you can just fake your OWN orgasms from now on.
[The woman appears alarmed/uneasy, drawn close-up.]
A man (off-panel/speaking): Anne, I have a confession... I've been faking orgasms.
[A woman with curly brown hair, wearing a green sweater vest over a white collared shirt, looks distressed, hands on her chest.]
Panel 2
Man (a person with dark hair and round glasses): Obviously.
Panel 3
Woman (Anne): You knew?
Man: I noticed five years ago.
[Anne stands behind the man, who sits at a laptop.]
Panel 4
Man: I've been experimentally ramping down the quality of sex ever since. At this point I contribute nothing at all and your behavior remains unchanged!
Panel 5
Man: Look, I got the results published in an economics journal!
[He holds up a paper titled "Erotic Moral Hazard: A Case Study".]
Panel 6
Woman (Anne): We need to work on communication.
Man: No! I just need three more years of data!
Votey:
Caption text: Then you can just fake your OWN orgasms from now on.
[The woman appears alarmed/uneasy, drawn close-up.]
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. A man with dark hair and round glasses tells a woman named Anne (curly brown hair, green sweater vest): "Anne, I have a confession... I've been faking orgasms." He calmly replies, "Obviously." She asks, "You knew?" He says, "I noticed five years ago." Sitting at a laptop, he continues: "I've been experimentally ramping down the quality of sex ever since. At this point I contribute nothing at all and your behavior remains unchanged!" He holds up an academic paper titled "Erotic Moral Hazard: A Case Study" and says, "Look, I got the results published in an economics journal!" Anne says, "We need to work on communication," and he protests, "No! I just need three more years of data!" In the votey aftercomic, a close-up of the woman looking uneasy accompanies the line: "Then you can just fake your own orgasms from now on." The joke treats a relationship as a controlled economics experiment in moral hazard.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.