internet-3
Original: internet-3 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Son: Dad what was it like before the internet?
Dad: Wonderful, son. Wonderful.
Panel 2:
Son: You know how male ducks have giant corkscrew dongs they use for the terrifying sex they have with female ducks and their labyrinthine birth canals?
Dad: Sure.
Panel 3:
Dad: That used to be obscure knowledge! Trivia questions were about basic chemistry and TV and stuff. Now every horrible animal fact is working knowledge and there's no way to undo it!
Panel 4 (the figures are now silhouettes against a black background):
Son: Did you know there's a species of fruit fly with 6 centimeter long sperm?
Dad: Of course I do! Everyone does! This is hell!
Votey:
(No text. A green duck's head with an orange bill against a purple background.)
Son: Dad what was it like before the internet?
Dad: Wonderful, son. Wonderful.
Panel 2:
Son: You know how male ducks have giant corkscrew dongs they use for the terrifying sex they have with female ducks and their labyrinthine birth canals?
Dad: Sure.
Panel 3:
Dad: That used to be obscure knowledge! Trivia questions were about basic chemistry and TV and stuff. Now every horrible animal fact is working knowledge and there's no way to undo it!
Panel 4 (the figures are now silhouettes against a black background):
Son: Did you know there's a species of fruit fly with 6 centimeter long sperm?
Dad: Of course I do! Everyone does! This is hell!
Votey:
(No text. A green duck's head with an orange bill against a purple background.)
Alt text
A four-panel comic. Panel 1: A boy asks his father, "Dad what was it like before the internet?" The dad, a man with glasses in a maroon jacket, replies wistfully, "Wonderful, son. Wonderful." Panel 2: The boy asks, "You know how male ducks have giant corkscrew dongs they use for the terrifying sex they have with female ducks and their labyrinthine birth canals?" The dad replies flatly, "Sure." Panel 3: The dad, looking strained, says, "That used to be obscure knowledge! Trivia questions were about basic chemistry and TV and stuff. Now every horrible animal fact is working knowledge and there's no way to undo it!" Panel 4: The two are now black silhouettes against a pitch-black void. The boy asks, "Did you know there's a species of fruit fly with 6 centimeter long sperm?" The dad throws up his hands and cries, "Of course I do! Everyone does! This is hell!" Votey: A close-up cartoon portrait of a green-headed duck with a large orange bill against a purple background, with no caption.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.