which
Original: which on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A man with flame-like (orange) hair, wide-eyed, holds out a TV-style remote control toward two children. He says: "CHOOSE WHICH OF YOUR CHILDREN WILL LIVE AND WHICH WILL DIE!"
Panel 2: A bald man in glasses, calm and expressionless, replies: "BILLY DIES."
Panel 3: The orange-haired man, taken aback, says: "WHAT?"
Panel 4: The bald man explains: "SALLY IS A GIRL, SO SHE HAS A HIGHER LIFE EXPECTANCY AND SLIGHTLY HIGHER AVERAGE HAPPINESS. SHE'S ALSO THREE YEARS YOUNGER THAN BILLY. MULTIPLY THROUGH AND IT'S OBVIOUS THAT YOU COME OUT WITH A HIGHER NUMBER OF QUALITY-ADJUSTED LIFE YEARS BY SPARING SALLY."
Panel 5: The orange-haired man holds the remote up near his mouth, looking unsettled. The bald man looks on.
Panel 6: The bald man says: "IT'S A NO-BRAINER, DUDE."
Panel 7: A later scene. The orange-haired man kneels beside the two children. He says: "I'M SO SORRY YOU WERE RAISED BY AN ECONOMIST."
Panel 8: The bald economist is now tied to a chair with rope. The orange-haired man stands with a hand on the boy's shoulder, the girl beside them. He says: "HE MEANS WELL WHEN IT'S OPTIMAL TO MEAN WELL."
Votey: A man (the orange-haired father) seen from a low angle, looking down with a resigned expression. Speech bubble: "GOOD THING I'M FUNGIBLE TO THOSE KIDS!"
Panel 2: A bald man in glasses, calm and expressionless, replies: "BILLY DIES."
Panel 3: The orange-haired man, taken aback, says: "WHAT?"
Panel 4: The bald man explains: "SALLY IS A GIRL, SO SHE HAS A HIGHER LIFE EXPECTANCY AND SLIGHTLY HIGHER AVERAGE HAPPINESS. SHE'S ALSO THREE YEARS YOUNGER THAN BILLY. MULTIPLY THROUGH AND IT'S OBVIOUS THAT YOU COME OUT WITH A HIGHER NUMBER OF QUALITY-ADJUSTED LIFE YEARS BY SPARING SALLY."
Panel 5: The orange-haired man holds the remote up near his mouth, looking unsettled. The bald man looks on.
Panel 6: The bald man says: "IT'S A NO-BRAINER, DUDE."
Panel 7: A later scene. The orange-haired man kneels beside the two children. He says: "I'M SO SORRY YOU WERE RAISED BY AN ECONOMIST."
Panel 8: The bald economist is now tied to a chair with rope. The orange-haired man stands with a hand on the boy's shoulder, the girl beside them. He says: "HE MEANS WELL WHEN IT'S OPTIMAL TO MEAN WELL."
Votey: A man (the orange-haired father) seen from a low angle, looking down with a resigned expression. Speech bubble: "GOOD THING I'M FUNGIBLE TO THOSE KIDS!"
Alt text
An eight-panel comic. A wide-eyed man with orange hair points a TV remote at two young children and shouts, "Choose which of your children will live and which will die!" A calm bald man in glasses immediately answers, "Billy dies." When the first man says "What?", the bald man coolly explains his reasoning: Sally is a girl with higher life expectancy and slightly higher average happiness, and is three years younger than Billy, so sparing Sally yields more quality-adjusted life years. He concludes, "It's a no-brainer, dude." Later, the orange-haired man kneels by the kids and says, "I'm so sorry you were raised by an economist." In the final panel the economist is shown tied to a chair while the man, hand on the boy's shoulder, says, "He means well when it's optimal to mean well." Votey (aftercomic): the orange-haired man, drawn from a low angle looking down glumly, says, "Good thing I'm fungible to those kids!" The joke skewers cold cost-benefit utilitarian reasoning applied to family.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.