codes
Original: codes on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Well-dressed man (interrogator, in a suit/tuxedo): "I'll never reveal the launch codes! Never!"
Seated captive man: "On... I suspect you will when you watch this video."
Captive (reacting): "Wait? What is it?"
Panel 2:
Interrogator: "We captured a sex-tape of you."
Captive: "I don't care! Babes many you bastard!"
Interrogator: "We then digitally extracted your partner."
Panel 3:
Captive: "Huh?"
Interrogator: "It's just you two, naked, waving over and grunting."
Partner figure (a small naked figure, gesturing): "WEUUGGH! UERRRRGHGH!"
Panel 4:
Interrogator: "Then we transposed you into a cave. Look at it. Look at how it want you. ARE IT LIKE GOLLUM AND DYSENTERY!"
Cave figure (the naked partner, now in a cave): "HUUNH! HUUNH! HAARGH! OHARRGGHH!"
Panel 5:
Interrogator: "21St?22ITSDAY! 21ST?12EM1SDY?"
Captive (sweating, panicked): "WARRRGH! LIKE IT? WAGRRGGGH?"
Captive: "GIVE ME THE BUTTON! LAUNCH THE NUKES!"
Votey:
A wide-eyed character speaking: "Look I can make an army of them. It's like the Battle of Helm's Deep."
Well-dressed man (interrogator, in a suit/tuxedo): "I'll never reveal the launch codes! Never!"
Seated captive man: "On... I suspect you will when you watch this video."
Captive (reacting): "Wait? What is it?"
Panel 2:
Interrogator: "We captured a sex-tape of you."
Captive: "I don't care! Babes many you bastard!"
Interrogator: "We then digitally extracted your partner."
Panel 3:
Captive: "Huh?"
Interrogator: "It's just you two, naked, waving over and grunting."
Partner figure (a small naked figure, gesturing): "WEUUGGH! UERRRRGHGH!"
Panel 4:
Interrogator: "Then we transposed you into a cave. Look at it. Look at how it want you. ARE IT LIKE GOLLUM AND DYSENTERY!"
Cave figure (the naked partner, now in a cave): "HUUNH! HUUNH! HAARGH! OHARRGGHH!"
Panel 5:
Interrogator: "21St?22ITSDAY! 21ST?12EM1SDY?"
Captive (sweating, panicked): "WARRRGH! LIKE IT? WAGRRGGGH?"
Captive: "GIVE ME THE BUTTON! LAUNCH THE NUKES!"
Votey:
A wide-eyed character speaking: "Look I can make an army of them. It's like the Battle of Helm's Deep."
Alt text
A black-and-white SMBC comic in dark-toned panels showing an interrogation scene. A well-dressed man (the interrogator) tells a seated captive he will never reveal the launch codes. The interrogator says he has a captured sex-tape of the captive; the captive defiantly doesn't care. The interrogator explains he then digitally extracted the captive's partner so the footage is just the two of them naked, waving and grunting (shown as a small crude figure making noises like "WEUUGGH! UERRRRGHGH!"). He then transposes the figure into a cave, comparing it to "Gollum and dysentery," the figure grunting "HUUNH! HAARGH!" The captive becomes increasingly distressed and panicked, sweating and shouting garbled noises, and finally breaks down screaming to be given the button to launch the nukes, just to make it stop. Votey: a wide-eyed character calmly adds, "Look I can make an army of them. It's like the Battle of Helm's Deep."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.