prophet
Original: prophet on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Prophet (a hooded figure): I'm sick of being a prophet. You gotta live in a hut all day being mysterious, and then you select some kid as the chosen one and he gets to go have fun and marry a princess.
Panel 2:
Prophet (to a second hooded/bearded figure): I wonder if we could use our reputation for fore-ordaining fate in more remunerative ways.
Second figure: Hmm...
Panel 3:
Prophet (voice from a cloud, off-panel): And so... boy! You have a special destiny! You must go to the crossroads beyond the mountain!
(A young person stands listening.)
Panel 4:
Young person (carrying a staff/tool, walking): What, me? But I'm just a lowly farmer. I could never--
Prophet (from the cloud): There you will get 15% off store-brand tortilla chiiiiips!
Votey:
Prophet (from the cloud): Subject to availa-bilityyyyyyy...
Prophet (a hooded figure): I'm sick of being a prophet. You gotta live in a hut all day being mysterious, and then you select some kid as the chosen one and he gets to go have fun and marry a princess.
Panel 2:
Prophet (to a second hooded/bearded figure): I wonder if we could use our reputation for fore-ordaining fate in more remunerative ways.
Second figure: Hmm...
Panel 3:
Prophet (voice from a cloud, off-panel): And so... boy! You have a special destiny! You must go to the crossroads beyond the mountain!
(A young person stands listening.)
Panel 4:
Young person (carrying a staff/tool, walking): What, me? But I'm just a lowly farmer. I could never--
Prophet (from the cloud): There you will get 15% off store-brand tortilla chiiiiips!
Votey:
Prophet (from the cloud): Subject to availa-bilityyyyyyy...
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: A hooded figure (a prophet) sits and complains, "I'm sick of being a prophet. You gotta live in a hut all day being mysterious, and then you select some kid as the chosen one and he gets to go have fun and marry a princess." Panel 2: The prophet turns to a bearded companion and says, "I wonder if we could use our reputation for fore-ordaining fate in more remunerative ways." The companion replies, "Hmm..." Panel 3: A booming voice issues from a cloud in the sky toward a young person standing below: "And so... boy! You have a special destiny! You must go to the crossroads beyond the mountain!" Panel 4: The young farmer, holding a staff, walks off and protests, "What, me? But I'm just a lowly farmer. I could never--" The cloud-voice interrupts with the real payoff: "There you will get 15% off store-brand tortilla chiiiiips!" Votey: A wide shot of sky and clouds; the cloud-voice trails off with the fine print, "Subject to availa-bilityyyyyyy..."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.