visitation
Original: visitation on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (a flying saucer/UFO meeting a young man):
Aliens (from the saucer): WE HAVE COME TO SPEAK WITH YOU!
Young man: WOW. YOU ALREADY KNOW HUMAN LANGUAGE?
Aliens: WE KNOW ALL LANGUAGE OF ALL CREATURES AND WE ARE CONTACTING EVERYONE ON YOUR BEAUTIFUL PLANET!
Young man: OH SHIT.
Panel 2 (caption: AT SEA):
A whale, speaking to the saucer above the water: THEY'RE KILLING US! THEY SPENT CENTURIES TURNING US INTO SOAP!
Panel 3 (caption: IN THE SKY):
A bird flying past the saucer: YOU CAN BARELY BREATHE UP HERE! MY BABIES WILL NEVER KNOW THE SCENT OF CLEAN AIR!
Panel 4 (caption: IN THE HOME):
A small cat, speaking to the saucer: MASTURBATING! ENDLESS MASTURBATING TO THE WORST HORRIBLE THINGS!
Panel 5 (caption: HACKERMAN):
The young man: SO WE'RE GOING TO KILL ALL THE HUMANS.
The aliens (from the saucer): HEY, YOU'LL GET NO ARGUMENT FROM US.
Votey:
The same cat, looking up, in a speech bubble: PLEASE KILL ME TOO.
Aliens (from the saucer): WE HAVE COME TO SPEAK WITH YOU!
Young man: WOW. YOU ALREADY KNOW HUMAN LANGUAGE?
Aliens: WE KNOW ALL LANGUAGE OF ALL CREATURES AND WE ARE CONTACTING EVERYONE ON YOUR BEAUTIFUL PLANET!
Young man: OH SHIT.
Panel 2 (caption: AT SEA):
A whale, speaking to the saucer above the water: THEY'RE KILLING US! THEY SPENT CENTURIES TURNING US INTO SOAP!
Panel 3 (caption: IN THE SKY):
A bird flying past the saucer: YOU CAN BARELY BREATHE UP HERE! MY BABIES WILL NEVER KNOW THE SCENT OF CLEAN AIR!
Panel 4 (caption: IN THE HOME):
A small cat, speaking to the saucer: MASTURBATING! ENDLESS MASTURBATING TO THE WORST HORRIBLE THINGS!
Panel 5 (caption: HACKERMAN):
The young man: SO WE'RE GOING TO KILL ALL THE HUMANS.
The aliens (from the saucer): HEY, YOU'LL GET NO ARGUMENT FROM US.
Votey:
The same cat, looking up, in a speech bubble: PLEASE KILL ME TOO.
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: A flying saucer hovers over a young man. The aliens say they've come to speak with him and that they know all languages of all creatures and are contacting everyone on the planet. The man, after a beat of delight, says 'OH SHIT,' realizing the aliens will hear what animals really think of humans. Panel 2, labeled 'AT SEA': a whale tells the saucer humans spent centuries turning whales into soap. Panel 3, 'IN THE SKY': a bird says you can barely breathe up here and its babies will never know the scent of clean air. Panel 4, 'IN THE HOME': a house cat reports humans 'masturbating, endless masturbating to the worst horrible things.' Panel 5, 'HACKERMAN': the man resignedly concludes 'So we're going to kill all the humans,' and the aliens reply 'Hey, you'll get no argument from us.' Votey aftercomic: a close-up of the same cat looking upward, saying in a speech bubble, 'PLEASE KILL ME TOO.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.