all-nighter
Original: all-nighter on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (label: HIGH SCHOOL VERSION):
A young woman sits energized at a computer.
Woman: "I STAYED UP ALL NIGHT, I DRANK A GALLON OF COFFEE, I ATE NOTHING BUT RED LICORICE FOR 16 HOURS, BUT MY PAPER IS DONE."
Panel 2 (label: EVER AFTER):
An older, distressed woman sits at a computer.
Woman: "I STAYED UP ALL NIGHT WORKING AND NOW I AM TIRED AND HAVE ONLY COMPLETED 1% OF THE TASK. I'M TIRED AND WHY WON'T MY HEART STOP BEATING LIKE THAT. YOU LIED TO ME, COLLEGE! YOU PREPARED ME FOR NOTHING!"
Votey:
A close-up of the same woman's face.
Woman: "LEARNING HOW TO DRINK 12 BEERS A NIGHT HAS BEEN OF LASTING VALUE, THOUGH."
A young woman sits energized at a computer.
Woman: "I STAYED UP ALL NIGHT, I DRANK A GALLON OF COFFEE, I ATE NOTHING BUT RED LICORICE FOR 16 HOURS, BUT MY PAPER IS DONE."
Panel 2 (label: EVER AFTER):
An older, distressed woman sits at a computer.
Woman: "I STAYED UP ALL NIGHT WORKING AND NOW I AM TIRED AND HAVE ONLY COMPLETED 1% OF THE TASK. I'M TIRED AND WHY WON'T MY HEART STOP BEATING LIKE THAT. YOU LIED TO ME, COLLEGE! YOU PREPARED ME FOR NOTHING!"
Votey:
A close-up of the same woman's face.
Woman: "LEARNING HOW TO DRINK 12 BEERS A NIGHT HAS BEEN OF LASTING VALUE, THOUGH."
Alt text
A two-panel comic contrasting all-nighters at different life stages. Panel one, labeled "HIGH SCHOOL VERSION," shows a young woman cheerfully working at a computer, saying she stayed up all night, drank a gallon of coffee, and ate nothing but red licorice for 16 hours, but her paper is done. Panel two, labeled "EVER AFTER," shows an older, frazzled, distressed-looking woman at a computer saying she stayed up all night working and only completed 1% of the task, that she's exhausted and her heart won't stop pounding, and she shouts that college lied to her and prepared her for nothing. In the votey, a close-up of the same woman concedes that learning how to drink 12 beers a night has been of lasting value, though.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.