pareto
Original: pareto on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (sitting on a couch, thought): I've done it.
Panel 2:
Man (thought): I've reached total Pareto-dismality. Everything is as bad as it can conceivably be. Any action I take will make things no worse.
Panel 3:
Man (thought): I could sit on this couch motionless for a week, drinking cheap vodka and watching cartoons and I would either be better off or the same!
Panel 4:
(The man, viewed from behind / slumped in the chair. No text.)
Panel 5:
(Close-up of the man's tired, deadpan face. No text.)
Panel 6:
Man (thought): God, life is wonderful.
Votey:
Thought bubble (the man slumped at the bottom of the panel): Now that hope has died, I can watch the news in peace.
Man (sitting on a couch, thought): I've done it.
Panel 2:
Man (thought): I've reached total Pareto-dismality. Everything is as bad as it can conceivably be. Any action I take will make things no worse.
Panel 3:
Man (thought): I could sit on this couch motionless for a week, drinking cheap vodka and watching cartoons and I would either be better off or the same!
Panel 4:
(The man, viewed from behind / slumped in the chair. No text.)
Panel 5:
(Close-up of the man's tired, deadpan face. No text.)
Panel 6:
Man (thought): God, life is wonderful.
Votey:
Thought bubble (the man slumped at the bottom of the panel): Now that hope has died, I can watch the news in peace.
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. A man sits slumped and motionless on a red couch in a dim room. In thought bubbles he reasons himself into bleak contentment: 'I've done it. I've reached total Pareto-dismality. Everything is as bad as it can conceivably be. Any action I take will make things no worse. I could sit on this couch motionless for a week, drinking cheap vodka and watching cartoons and I would either be better off or the same!' A close-up shows his exhausted, expressionless face. Final panel, still slumped: 'God, life is wonderful.' The joke is that hitting rock bottom has paradoxically freed him from anxiety. Votey (aftercomic): the man sits at the bottom of a large thought bubble that reads, 'Now that hope has died, I can watch the news in peace.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.