flood
Original: flood on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
A man with orange/red hair kneels with his hands clasped in prayer, talking to God. The man's lines appear in white speech bubbles; God's replies appear in yellow speech bubbles with purple borders.
Panel 1:
Man (praying): Dear God, did the flood kill any babies?
God: Ho yeah!
Panel 2:
God: Look, babies are bastards. They scream all night. They crap their pants. They would kill you for a cookie. It's a no-brainer.
Panel 3:
Man: That's not where I saw you going with that.
God: Humans are bad and I like when they suffer.
Panel 4:
Man (looking up, shrugging): Then why'd you make us?
Panel 5:
God: Does watching reality TV make you happy?
Man: No.
God: But you watch it.
Man: ...Yes.
Panel 6:
God: You are made in my image.
God (silhouetted figure): Aw hell.
Votey:
God (in a yellow speech bubble): I hear dramatic violins whenever you suffer.
Panel 1:
Man (praying): Dear God, did the flood kill any babies?
God: Ho yeah!
Panel 2:
God: Look, babies are bastards. They scream all night. They crap their pants. They would kill you for a cookie. It's a no-brainer.
Panel 3:
Man: That's not where I saw you going with that.
God: Humans are bad and I like when they suffer.
Panel 4:
Man (looking up, shrugging): Then why'd you make us?
Panel 5:
God: Does watching reality TV make you happy?
Man: No.
God: But you watch it.
Man: ...Yes.
Panel 6:
God: You are made in my image.
God (silhouetted figure): Aw hell.
Votey:
God (in a yellow speech bubble): I hear dramatic violins whenever you suffer.
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. An orange-haired man kneels in prayer talking to God; the man speaks in white speech bubbles and God answers in yellow, purple-bordered bubbles. Man: 'Dear God, did the flood kill any babies?' God: 'Ho yeah! Look, babies are bastards. They scream all night, they crap their pants, they would kill you for a cookie. It's a no-brainer.' Man: 'That's not where I saw you going with that.' God: 'Humans are bad and I like when they suffer.' Man looks up and shrugs: 'Then why'd you make us?' God: 'Does watching reality TV make you happy?' Man: 'No.' God: 'But you watch it.' Man: '...Yes.' In the final black panel God says 'You are made in my image,' and a white silhouette of God himself appears, saying 'Aw hell' as he realizes the implication. Votey: a yellow speech bubble where God adds, 'I hear dramatic violins whenever you suffer.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.