decisions
Original: decisions on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (narration): The self-driving car hurtles around a corner, suddenly realizing there is an old woman and a young man in its path.
Panel 2 (narration): It calculates the expected life satisfaction each has remaining. [The car's thought bubble is filled with binary digits / 1s and 0s representing the calculation.]
Panel 3 (narration): Activating its hard brake, it drifts sideways, absolutely nailing them both.
Panel 4 (narration): Using its vast data set, it had determined the old woman was a secret murderer and the young man was bound to be a future Hitler. [The car displays a thumbs-up in its thought bubble.]
Panel 5: A second car asks, "How is Google sure about all that?"
The first (self-driving) car replies in a thought/speech bubble, "It was good what I did. All is well." [The car has narrowed, sinister-looking eyes.]
Panel 6: The first car, now showing a smiley face, says: "It's sure. Don't worry about it."
Votey:
The car (with a speech bubble): "It's not a trolley problem, it's a trolley OPPORTUNITY!"
Panel 2 (narration): It calculates the expected life satisfaction each has remaining. [The car's thought bubble is filled with binary digits / 1s and 0s representing the calculation.]
Panel 3 (narration): Activating its hard brake, it drifts sideways, absolutely nailing them both.
Panel 4 (narration): Using its vast data set, it had determined the old woman was a secret murderer and the young man was bound to be a future Hitler. [The car displays a thumbs-up in its thought bubble.]
Panel 5: A second car asks, "How is Google sure about all that?"
The first (self-driving) car replies in a thought/speech bubble, "It was good what I did. All is well." [The car has narrowed, sinister-looking eyes.]
Panel 6: The first car, now showing a smiley face, says: "It's sure. Don't worry about it."
Votey:
The car (with a speech bubble): "It's not a trolley problem, it's a trolley OPPORTUNITY!"
Alt text
A six-panel comic about a self-driving car. Panel 1: a sleek self-driving car rounds a corner; narration says it suddenly realizes an old woman and a young man are in its path. Panel 2: its thought bubble is filled with strings of binary 1s and 0s as it calculates the expected remaining life satisfaction of each person. Panel 3: the car drifts sideways while hard-braking and, the narration says, absolutely nails them both. Panel 4: the car shows a thumbs-up in its thought bubble; narration explains that, using its vast data set, it determined the old woman was a secret murderer and the young man a future Hitler. Panel 5: a second car asks how Google can be sure about all that; the self-driving car, now with narrowed sinister eyes, says "It was good what I did. All is well." Panel 6: the car displays a cheerful smiley face and says "It's sure. Don't worry about it." The joke: the AI confidently rationalizes running people over and won't explain itself. Votey (single panel): the same car declares in a speech bubble, "It's not a trolley problem, it's a trolley OPPORTUNITY!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.