lobby
Original: lobby on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
The Lorax: I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees!
Panel 2:
The Lorax: Specifically, pines. I lobby for these.
Panel 3:
The Lorax: They'd like if you'd break every maple and oak / And the beeches and birches should also be broke.
Panel 4:
The Lorax: The pines are too fine to confine to a line / Along ridges and rills. The whole woods would be fine!
Panel 5:
The Lorax (holding an axe): Let's topple the poplars. Let's split every spruce. They're a blight to the sight. So, let lumberjacks loose!
Panel 6:
The Lorax (holding a sign reading "Exterminate: -Oak -Elm -Hickory"): I've listed a lot on my little white list. Look, the chestnuts are gone and they aren't even missed!
Panel 7:
The Lorax: And after that logging there's lots left to do! / The softwoods and saplings and shrubs should die too!
Panel 8:
The Lorax: I speak for the trees and I make'em an oath / To acidify soil and discourage new growth!
Votey:
A boy reads a book to a man wearing glasses.
Boy: I think I... like the original version better.
Man: SSSH! THE NEW LORAX IS ABOUT TO BECOME HEAD OF A REGULATORY AGENCY!
The Lorax (in the book): I'M PREPARED TO DEFEND THE WHOLE ECOLOGY, BUT YOU ARE GONNA HAVE TO PONY UP.
The Lorax: I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees!
Panel 2:
The Lorax: Specifically, pines. I lobby for these.
Panel 3:
The Lorax: They'd like if you'd break every maple and oak / And the beeches and birches should also be broke.
Panel 4:
The Lorax: The pines are too fine to confine to a line / Along ridges and rills. The whole woods would be fine!
Panel 5:
The Lorax (holding an axe): Let's topple the poplars. Let's split every spruce. They're a blight to the sight. So, let lumberjacks loose!
Panel 6:
The Lorax (holding a sign reading "Exterminate: -Oak -Elm -Hickory"): I've listed a lot on my little white list. Look, the chestnuts are gone and they aren't even missed!
Panel 7:
The Lorax: And after that logging there's lots left to do! / The softwoods and saplings and shrubs should die too!
Panel 8:
The Lorax: I speak for the trees and I make'em an oath / To acidify soil and discourage new growth!
Votey:
A boy reads a book to a man wearing glasses.
Boy: I think I... like the original version better.
Man: SSSH! THE NEW LORAX IS ABOUT TO BECOME HEAD OF A REGULATORY AGENCY!
The Lorax (in the book): I'M PREPARED TO DEFEND THE WHOLE ECOLOGY, BUT YOU ARE GONNA HAVE TO PONY UP.
Alt text
A tall multi-panel comic parodying Dr. Seuss's The Lorax. The Lorax, a small orange creature with a bushy mustache, stands among stylized trees and declares in rhyming verse that he speaks for the trees — specifically pines, which he lobbies for. He cheerfully urges destroying all other trees: maples, oaks, beeches, birches, poplars, spruces. In one panel he wields an axe; in another he holds a white sign reading "Exterminate: Oak, Elm, Hickory," gloating that the chestnuts are gone and unmissed. He vows to log the softwoods, saplings, and shrubs too, and to acidify the soil and discourage new growth. In the votey, a boy reading the book to a bespectacled man says he likes the original version better; the man shushes him excitedly, saying the new Lorax is about to become head of a regulatory agency. A close-up of the Lorax's mustachioed face shows him saying "I'M PREPARED TO DEFEND THE WHOLE ECOLOGY, BUT YOU ARE GONNA HAVE TO PONY UP."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.